Finding Your Jeans
Finding Your Jeans
What denim can teach us about our daydreams.
In September I started a Pilates class at my local village hall to ensure I don’t become a couch potato (as is my natural state). For context, I have never stepped foot in a gym before. My muscle mass is zero. My lack of physical strength was apparently so clear that the instructor offered me one-to-one sessions so I could learn to do a push-up without wincing. It turns out hiding at the back of the class doesn’t mean you’re safe. I had flashbacks to PE at school, desperately trying to reach the first post in rounders whilst the other girls, their high ponytails swinging with euphoria, swept around all four bases without breaking a sweat. I’d never know such a feeling - or so I thought. After six sessions of grit and determination, my instructor called me ‘a natural athlete’ - no sarcasm detected. I felt like Hercules.
Recently, my cousin Fabs came to stay with us. She’s a T34 Wheelchair Racing Paralympian, and a medalist at the World Championships and Commonwealth Games, making her the most impressive person I know. Whilst we were catching up, she mentioned that part of preparing for games is Anti-Doping testing, which helps to keep the competition clean. She said that she can be tested at any time, anywhere. This made sense to me, if a little inconvenient. Then, she put the cherry on the cake: when having the test, she has to pee in front of someone.
I gasped.
It was in that moment I knew I could never become an elite athlete. My performance anxiety would be off the charts. My new-found athletic talents would have to be kept within the village hall.
That’s okay, though. Before Fabs got into racing, she loved swimming, and had been committed to the sport since the age of fourteen. She competed up and down the country for years, swimming alongside the likes of Ellie Simmonds. A few years down the line, Fabs fell out of love with swimming. It wasn’t fulfilling her in the way she was craving and she wasn’t able to reach her goals within that sport. She had no intention of giving up on sport, however. She tried wheelchair basketball, and wheelchair rugby - affectionately dubbed ‘murderball’ - until she finally fell into wheelchair racing. As we spoke about it, we said that finding your thing is like finding the right pair of jeans.
In 2019, Mom jeans were all the rage. They were cool, comfortable and effortless. Unfortunately, they didn’t suit me. They were baggy in all the wrong places and gaped at the back. I was devastated. Everyone I knew was wearing them! No matter how many pairs I tried, I couldn’t find a pair that looked right, and I was forced to stick with my tattered straight legs. It wasn’t until February 2023 that I found my perfect fit - a pair of full length indigo wide legs nestled in the Anthropologie on Regent Street. They haven’t left my legs since.
The idea is, your favourite pair of jeans will always be different from the person sat next to you. Your favourite pair of jeans might change in the next three months. Maybe you’ll spill coffee down them and have to look for a new pair all over again. Mom jeans looked amazing on my friends, but they just weren’t for me. While swimming suited Fabs and sparked her fascination with sport, she outgrew it, and racing fit her even better.
Fabs’ acceptance of change was just as inspiring. She could have stubbornly squeezed herself into the swimming world, subconsciously knowing it wasn’t right for her, looking at her peers through the blue tint of her goggles and having a feeling of underwhelm simmering beneath the surface. Instead, she embraced that racing was more her thing, and has thrived ever since. Wheelchair racing took her to the 2020 Tokyo Paralympics, the 2021 World Para Athletics Championships, and (hopefully 🤞) Paris 2024. She was even part of a Team England Podium Sweep at the 2022 Commonwealth Games! None of this would have happened if she hadn’t thrown herself in the deep end (lol).
Even within wheelchair racing, what motivates Fabs is herself, and how she can better her own skill. It’s not about what someone else can do. As long as she’s improved on a previous personal best, or technique, or mindset, then she’s accomplished something that counts for her. If she wins a medal or two along the way, that’s a bonus. Focusing on her competitor’s achievements only distracts from her number one goal. It doesn’t make her push any harder or her wheels move faster.
She’s not trying to fit into someone else’s jeans - and why would she want to?
So while elite sport isn’t for me, that doesn’t mean I don’t have my own talent in another field. Pilates in my village hall suits me just fine.
If skinny jeans feel too snug, don’t force yourself in. Try a pair of flares and see how you get on.👖
PS: for the best jeans ever, click here.
