Sunny Side Up #20: You Don't Need A Reason!

Wanting is enough.

Beginning this edition of SSU by marvelling at the fact that this is the twentieth one!! Cause for celebration if you ask me. Funny I say that, because today I’m chatting about an epiphany I had at the end of last week that has inspired me this week.

You don’t need a reason to celebrate. You don’t need a reason to do anything. The sheer fact that you’d like to do something is enough of a reason to do it. In the words of the great Billie Piper, we can do anything we want.

If you know me you know I love a dinner party. I haven’t hosted one myself in well over a year now. My friend Jo hosts numerous dinner parties a year and they are always the highlight of the week, she creates such a wholesome and cosy atmosphere. I love the chat, I love how relaxed they are, how people bring something they made themselves, and how everyone around the table has chosen to share their time and eat their evening meal together. Isn’t that cute?! I just love them.

My lack of dinner party hosting has caused me much angst in recent months. I know what you’re thinking - host one then. Alas, I have repeatedly told myself “it’s not that simple!”, listing all the reasons as to why I cannot have a dinner party. Reasons include, but are not limited to —

• I don’t have enough friends that live close by

• I’m bad at cooking under pressure

• I don’t know how to put together a tablescape

• What if nobody would want to come?

These thoughts are, of course, irrational and untrue. There’s a solution to every one of these points. It’s pretty clear that what I’m actually doing is procrastinating, coming up with reasons as to why I am not able to do something to keep myself stagnant.

@matildabeaaad prepping for a champagne & burger night using the new @Le Creuset UK White collection and 3-Ply Stainless Steel to create the tastiest burgers and fries🍔♥️ my favourites would have to be the Cast Iron Casserole & Cast-Iron Skillet - they look amazing when mixed in with colourful tableware - in keeping with my signature style - or against a neutral background. They will also last a lifetime, making them the perfect colour of cookware for styling and pairing with my kitchen aesthetics for years to come and on any occasion! #LeCreuset #White #champagne #burgernight #diyburgers #girlsnight #girlsnightideas

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1. The Guest List

In terms of friends, I actually do have a group of people that I can invite to my dinner party. I may not have the huge group of ‘friends’ that I did when I was younger, but I do have a lovely small group of people that I can laugh and share a good conversation with. I think I’ve gotten into the rhythm of believing that people will only want to come if they know everyone else around the table, however I feel like one of the most common things I hear other people in their twenties talk about is how difficult it is to make new friends. I don’t know if it’s just my circle, but people don’t tend to mix and match and introduce one another anymore. I don’t know why, and again, not sure if this is just the people I know. We need to get out of our comfort zones. They all know me, and after a quick introduction, they will all know each other! I think a good ice breaker is asking everyone to take their shoes off when they come in the house, that way everyone starts off in their socks and we’re all on the same page. Nobody is intimidating when they’re in their socks. So, that’s that.

2. The Menu

Okay - I am bad at cooking under pressure. But who said you have to cook live in front of the whole crew? Besides, I’ve always wanted to have my “here’s one I made earlier” moment. One of my favourite dinner parties at Jo’s involved her whacking two frozen pizzas in the oven for seven minutes. I am also acquainted with my slow cooker, and my Mum’s chicken paprika recipe is always a crowd pleaser. I know this may defeat the point, but I don’t think the dinner is the most important thing at the dinner party. It’s the people, the conversation, the pointless giggling. Cook a random assortment of foods and let everyone help themselves, and that way nobody has to worry about not liking something, or feeling overwhelmed by what’s on their plate. It’s supposed to feel homely, else you’d go to a restaurant.

3. The Aesthetics

The tablescape situation is one that’s been playing on my mind for a few weeks now. Anyone know Matilda Bea on TikTok? Have you seen her dinner parties? Stunning. Beautiful. Her eye for detail is exquisite. I think that Pinterest and socials in general have made the aesthetic of things like dinner parties more significant than they need to be. Besides, when people leave, are they going to remember your gorgeous napkin rings and candle sticks or will they be talking about how delicious the dessert was, and the interesting conversation? I will be decorating the table, but only because I want to see what I can make of it. I found some nice new placemats and I’m dusting off the tablecloth. A table always looks friendly with flowers on it. I’ll start there and see how we get on! Any tips are welcome.

4. The Fear

Now to address the most daunting question of them all - what if nobody wants to come? This is something I know to be untrue. I know for a fact that at least five of my friends would want to come, and considering there’s eight spaces around my dining room table, that’s pretty good going. The fact I’m coming to accept as I’m growing up and friends don’t live in the same bubble anymore is that sometimes people won’t be able to make time for you. Work crops up, long drives are inconvenient, sometimes we just want to stay in and watch telly by ourselves. This is fine! Happiness is not dependent on others. Whoever shows up to my dinner party I will be grateful to have there. I won’t be inviting anyone I don’t want there anyway. What’s the point in that?

This may come across as selfish, but never mind. The reason I want to have a dinner party isn’t because I want to please my friends, but because I enjoy it. The fact that we’ll all be there together is a bonus. I want them to have a nice time, but I also want to have a nice time. I want to make my kitchen look nice, I want to put together a Nancy Meyers inspired playlist, dust off my best crockery and bake a chocolate and almond torte. It’s as simple as that. I’ve been neglecting this desire for a really long time because I’ve been overly conscious of others, but in reality the only reason I can’t have a dinner party is because I’m not letting myself throw one. Is that a good enough reason? I don’t think so.

Watch this space!! I’ll update you in due course with how the dinner party went, who was there, what we ate, and whether my tablescape was, in fact, a flop.

I will be honest with you all - I didn’t take a single photo this week. Not one. The whole point of SSU, capturing the happy moments so I can remember what makes the every day special, and I fumbled. I had one job. The funny thing is, every time I went to take a picture I was like ‘oh that won’t be a good one, I’ll take another one later’, and I just forgot and now I’m here, with nothing. So, this is a DIY Joy List I’m calling “The Fun Part”. This is an accumulation of all the things that I’ve been doing this week, but forgot to take pictures of.

• What sort of British Citizen would I be if I didn’t spend my Tuesday evenings watching The Great British Bake Off? Absolutely devastated by the baker that was sent home this week, but life goes on.

• I also kept a watchful eye on the Victoria’s Secret show this year. Pandora Sykes wrote an amazing piece all about it which I urge you to read if you’re at all interested. I remember watching the shows with my friends when I was a teenager and we’d cheer on the models as though they were our best friends, and then complain about our own insecurities. Everyone wanted to be like an Angel. The thought of it makes me squirm now.

• We went pottery painting this week which I booked after seeing an expensive trinket dish and thinking “I could do that”. I was wrong.

• I bought a pair of Moi London Mary Jane’s! I’ve had my eye on these for a while and was debating between the red wine colour or the navy blue. Red got my vote in the end.

• Can we talk about Saoirse Ronan’s looks for her press tours recently?! Between The Outrun and Blitz I can’t keep up, her stylist is doing an impeccable job and I think it’s Nina Park that does her makeup. I would love to know how she gets her skin to look so seamless and flawless. Blitz has been one of my most highly anticipated movies of the year and I can’t wait to see it!

• We binge-watched Ludwig this week — loved it, no notes. Perfect cosy crime but a little bit different from the average. Makes me want to pick up a puzzle book and do a crossword.

• This was my favourite outfit of the week. Navy knitted dress with green hat and white sneakers. Nothing special, but really comfortable. Still not sure if beanies suit me though; I can’t help but feel like a Christmas elf when it sticks up too high on my head.

• I’ve got into the routine of obsessively checking the Era’s Tour twitter page for surprise song updates. The ones in Miami were strong, I think I’d have wanted to be at night one because they got a really good debut fix, and Should’ve Said No x I Did Something Bad would have been a hell of a mashup!

• Not on the picture but I watched Sweet Bobby on Netflix. Crazy, crazy stuff.

• Last but by no means least, catching up on my fave podcasts! I love Parenting Hell and The Rest is Entertainment, and also listened to How to Fail with Miranda Hart.

I think I was in a real mood for celebrating women this week, because all of my favourite pieces are about femininity and our connection with ourselves and other females. Angela, Soph and Ciara are some of my favourite writers on Substack, so be sure to have a read of their work if you’ve not already.

I only feel pretty after I workout by

Angela Tyler

On trying to un-hate my body by

Soph Coombs

On why we need women by

Ciara

That’s all for this week! I promise I’ll do better next time. Having said that, I’m writing this on Tuesday and I’ve not yet taken a photo for this week so… Good Luck Charlie.