Do Women Still Hate Women?
On female empowerment and 'Anne Hathaway Syndrome'
Sydney Sweeney has said that female solidarity in the film and television industry is ‘fake’. Sweeney is featured in the Hollywood issue of Vanity Fair, and in her interview was asked about a moment from earlier this year, whereby producer Carol Baum said that Sweeney was ‘not pretty, she can’t act.’
‘It’s very disheartening to see women tear other women down, especially when women who are successful in other avenues of their industry see younger talent working really hard — hoping to achieve whatever dreams that they may have — and then trying to bash and discredit any work that they’ve done. This entire industry, all people say is “Women empowering other women.” None of it’s happening. All of it is fake and a front for all the other shit that they say behind everyone’s back.
I mean, there’s so many studies and different opinions on the reasoning behind it. I’ve read that our entire lives, we were raised — and it’s a generational problem — to believe only one woman can be at the top. There’s only one woman who can get the man. There’s one woman who can be, I don’t know, anything. So then all the others feel like they have to fight each other or take that one woman down instead of being like, Let’s all lift each other up. I’m still trying to figure it out. I’m just trying my best over here. Why am I getting attacked?’
Baum’s comments about Sweeney reduce her to her appearance and supposed lack of talent. I personally thought she was great in Anyone But You. It’s not the first time Sweeney has been trolled for her looks - she once trended on twitter for being “ugly”. Baum appears to be unaware of Sweeney’s skill and the fact that not only was she the leading lady, but she produced Anyone But You, and was a key influence in the casting of Glen Powell and hiring of Will Gluck as director, as well as producing 2024’s Immaculate. Her success doesn’t need to be justified — it’s evident.
Society loves to pit women against one another. How many have we turned our backs on? Whether it’s Selena Gomez and Hailey Bieber, Taylor Swift and Charli XCX, Sabrina Carpenter and Olivia Rodrigo, or Ariana Grande being labelled as “not a girls’ girl”, there are countless instances where women have been thrown into the pop culture Hunger Games, fighting to earn the respect of the public, and other women, whether they like it or not. It’s not enough for them to simply be good at what they do.
Naturally, I started looking into “hated” women in Hollywood and came across a term that set off my gag reflex.
“Anne Hathaway Syndrome” is the idea that you are hated for doing everything right. It’s also one of the most demeaning things I have ever heard. Unfortunately, I remember the time that Anne Hathaway was deemed ‘annoying’ very well. She’s always been one of my favourites (how can you dislike the Queen of Genovia??), and I remember being really confused as to why she was coming under fire — I think I was about 12 at the time. A few Google searches, however, lead me to discover that there really was no justified reason for any of it. A couple of awkward jokes in acceptance speeches, maybe, a wardrobe malfunction… but absolutely nothing that made it acceptable for society to treat her in the way that it did. There was an article in The Atlantic titled “Anne Hathaway Will Be This Annoying At The Oscars”. In fact, the hate was so bad that Anne said it prevented her from booking roles: ‘A lot of people wouldn’t give me roles because they were so concerned about how toxic my identity had become online’.
This issue isn’t limited to Hollywood. Women are conflicted between wanting to be a ‘girl’s girl’ and hating any woman they feel threatened by. Normally there’s a man involved. It’s no surprise — trying to break a habit that’s been ingrained in our brains since we first became conscious is no mean feat. Internalised misogyny is still thriving, folks! In Greta Gerwig’s Barbie, Sasha says: ‘men hate women and women hate women. It’s one thing we can all agree on.’ It’s alarmingly true.
So, why do women hate each other so much?
I’m not entirely sure that we do. Do we hate each other, or is it more that we’ve been taught from such an early age to always be nice, don’t be too emotional, and if one of us expresses these feelings we see it as undignified and reject them from the pack? Or does the fact that we have to repress our feelings mean we cannot be open with one another, and so we feel jealousy and discomfort instead of freeing ourselves through meaningful and comforting conversations? I’m not sure, I’m just thinking out loud.
Then again, this is not a universal truth. I think there are plenty of women who have sincerely dedicated themselves to lifting other women higher. I think Greta Gerwig is a pretty strong example of this, particularly if we’re looking at the film industry - writing, producing and directing films with the aim of telling women’s stories and employing other women is something I’m so happy to be seeing more of. Reese Witherspoon is another name that comes to mind, having co-founded the female-focused production company Hello Sunshine in 2016, as well as Nicole Kidman, who has worked with fifteen female directors over the last seven years. Literature like Everything I Know About Love by Dolly Alderton, Feminists Don’t Wear Pink by Scarlett Curtis, Girl, Woman, Other by Bernadine Evaristo and Queenie by Candice Carty-Williams paint women and female connections in a celebratory light as opposed to a competitive one. Equally, I’ve found on Substack my experience with other women has been incredibly uplifting and reassuring — there is no malice or backhandedness. On the contrary, my female peers are more than willing to share work they’ve enjoyed, encourage their followers to subscribe to publications they enjoy, and leave comments of support. It’s like they’re sprinkling fairy dust wherever they go.
I wonder whether learning not to hate women is a conscious effort? I think it’s definitely something that takes unlearning, but the more we learn, the easier it becomes to undo. I no longer identify with my teenage self who would resent friends when they spent time with boyfriends over me, and I don’t find it complimentary to be told that another woman ‘has nothing on you’. The competition simply doesn’t exist. We are not rivals, we are allies. Nobody is going to understand you as a woman like another woman will.
The concept of the “girl’s girl” is seemingly positive — a term that encapsulates female empowerment, that champions women who are supportive of other women. However, with the “girl’s girl” comes her ultimate rival, the “pick me”, which Google identifies as ‘someone who seeks external validation, often from men, at the expense of others’. Typically, someone who adapts their personality to appeal to men, usually by putting other women down. Categorising women into one of these two categories seems to simply be a way to repackage competition. The "pick me” girl plays into female stereotypes, directly contributing to internalised misogyny by picking apart typically feminine traits.
It makes me uncomfortable to admit that female-on-female hate is still an issue. I can go on and on about female friendships and women supporting women, but we all know that there is still gossip, there is still jealousy… all the things we want to get rid of are still happening. Every time a baby laughs, a fairy gets its wings. Every time a woman succeeds, the rest of us move one step closer. The more we tear each other down, the worse we make things for ourselves. And we all know there’s nothing better than a loving friendship with a woman. It’s medicinal. Imagine that, but everywhere you go? It is in all of our best interest to cheer each other on, with gumption.
WoW, thank u for this!!! Beyond interesting!!!! 💗💗
This is great and needs to be talked about more.