5 Women in Film Who Shaped Me
Because you're supposed to be the leading lady of your own life.
This post is entirely inspired by
’s article “The 8 fictional women who made me who I am today”. Her blog is one of my favourites (subscribe to her for dreamy imagery of the Scottish Highlands and insight as to how you can slow down your life in a world aching for us to speed up). Her post was just so lovely to read I had to recreate it myself! Definitely have a read for yourself, especially because Molly delves into the science behind the way we connect with characters and parasocial relationships which is absolutely fascinating.
Escapism has always been my bag.
I think I’ve been making up stories for as long as I’ve been able to speak. I’ve been scribbling them down since I learned how to hold a pen in my hand. Reading unlocked a whole new world of stories, burying my nose into pages that would take me to Neverland, Kirrin Island and a Secret Garden. These brand new worlds would come with friends that I could visit whenever I opened a book. Darrell Rivers and I were very well acquainted. Hermione Granger was always motivating me to work harder. Annabeth Chase reminded me to be brave.
As much as literature is a comfort for me, it’s always been movies that I turn to when I need to immerse myself in a different reality. More specifically, romantic comedies. I challenge you to find a rom-com that I haven’t seen. They are my absolute favourite thing. I would curl up on a Friday night after a long, hard day at school (like most 12-16 year olds, it wasn’t the easiest time), and relax into a world of kitten heels, easy pop soundtracks, charming love interests, and powerhouse female leads.
There’s something about women in rom-coms that inspire me to show up as the best version of myself. They work hard, they overcome their challenges, they have amazing hair - they are the perfect everywoman. Growing up on a diet of Taylor Swift and Nancy Meyers means a) I wear my heart on my sleeve and b) I have been shaped by some of the most fabulous female characters in film. I think these characters are partly responsible for me being the way that I am.
My former teachers and lecturers will hate this article because I was always told not to talk about fictional characters like they’re real people. Whatever.
Without further ado, here are the five female characters who shaped me…
Iris Simpkins, The Holiday
(2006) dir. Nancy Meyers
“You’re supposed to be the leading lady of your own life, for God’s sake.”
My Mum put the DVD of The Holiday on while painting the spare bedroom in our old house. It was the school holidays, it was the first rom-com I’d ever seen, and I was absolutely entranced by Kate Winslet. Iris is the ultimate English Rose with the most charming cottage, an adorable dog, and my dream job. She’s everything I could have possibly dreamed of as a wide-eyed eight year old.
Iris and I have much in common, notably both ‘very normal, neat freak, non-smoker… single!’, and are both sensitive souls. She wears her heart on her sleeve, and although on the surface this appears to be a weakness as she allows Jasper’s selfishness to bruise her, I argue it is actually her greatest strength. Iris approaches others with such openness and enthusiasm it is impossible not to love and root for her.
Iris taught me to have gumption (isn’t that just the best word?). Watching her reclaim her self-worth is totally satisfying, and I turn to her whenever I feel as though my shine is dimming.
Given how big a role this film has played in my life, it feels wrong not to give honourable mention to the oh-so-glamourous Amanda Woods. I’d like to say her fire has rubbed off on me but I am yet to embody her effortlessly chic and powerful charm. The one thing we do have in common? ‘Loner, loser, and complicated wreck!’ (Joking… sort of).
Mia Thermopolis, The Princess Diaries
(2001) dir. Garry Marshall
“I can’t be a princess, I’m still waiting for normal body parts to arrive!”
Anyone who’s ever felt like the odd one out will resonate with Mia.
Let’s think about this seriously for a minute - imagine your granny who you’ve NEVER MET rocks up, she smells of pears, tells you she’s the LITERAL QUEEN of a random country and you’re the princess and in a few years you’re going to rule the country, and then brings in a beautician called Paolo to give you an extreme makeover, and Sandra Oh is your vice principal. I think I’d spontaneously combust. Puts me off being a princess I’ll tell you that for free (but then I tell you everything for free - I don’t have a pay wall on these posts).
Mia showed me the importance of making decisions that feel right for you, and not living your life based on the opinions of others. Personally, I can never follow through with things if my heart isn’t in it. I physically feel my body tense up as I attempt to squeeze into a mould I do not fit, like trying to get back into my skinny jeans after the first lockdown. Mia’s character was a fantastic role model growing up because she explicitly demonstrated how to think for yourself and follow your heart while still showing respect and kindness to those around you, whether they are supportive or not.
Special mention for the ‘Lana got coned’ scene - by all means show compassion, respect, and empathy, but Mia showed me that you should never allow yourself to be walked all over. You’re not a rug. It doesn’t happen often, but sometimes you need to metaphorically shove a chocolate ice cream down someone’s cheerleading outfit.
Jenna Rink, 13 Going on 30
(2004) dir. Gary Winick
“I am a tough bitch.”
The unexpected chaos brought in by my twenties has meant I have resonated with Jenna more than ever before. Feeling like you don’t fit anywhere is disconcerting and sometimes isolating. There has been more than one occasion where I’ve wished with all my heart to skip to the part where I am ‘thirty, flirty, and thriving’. Unfortunately I’ve not stumbled across any wishing dust as of yet. The use of Billy Joel’s Vienna in the film is very fitting.
Jenna serves aș a reminder never to lose the sparkle and joy for the things and people you love. It sounds cliché, but perhaps it’s the clichés that we really need to hear.
When Jenna arrives in her thirty year-old world, she is taken aback by the kind of person she’s become. It really makes me stop and think: what would my thirteen year old self think of twenty-four year old me? Adjust accordingly. I’m always struck by the amazing wardrobe choices in this movie - chic, classic pieces purchased by a thirty year old, styled by a thirteen year old. We’re all growing up, but we don’t need to stop having fun!
Also, be friends with nice people.
Emma Woodhouse, Emma.
(2020) dir. Autumn de Wilde
“I always deserve the best treatment because I never put up with any other.”
I love Emma because she so often gets it wrong.
On the exterior, she is entirely perfect. Truly, she is completely flawed. She says the wrong thing, she is oblivious and abrasive, she feels jealousy, she’s judgmental (and judges incorrectly), and is far too self-important. In fact, looking at it written down, she’s not really very likeable at all. And yet I love her.
Emma does not judge herself for her flaws, she learns from them. She takes accountability for her missteps. Her intentions are good.
When I first saw Emma, I found it so refreshing to see a female lead with so many character flaws. The thing is, I could accept these flaws in Emma, but not in myself. How funny is that? She’s not even a real person! Understanding and accepting Emma’s flaws helped me to accept the qualities that I share, and am critical of.
To acknowledge the mistakes you’ve made and move on from them is surprisingly empowering. I’m not quite on Emma’s level of self-confidence yet but there’s still time!
Elle Woods, Legally Blonde
(2001) dir. Robert Luketic
“I’ll show you how valuable Elle Woods can be!”
Rounding up today’s post on a high - who else other than everyone’s favourite Gemini Vegetarian?
Nobody puts it better than Elle herself:
“You must always have faith in people, and most importantly, you must always have faith in yourself.”
There are many points in my life that Elle has helped me through. She taught me to have my own back - nobody owes you anything, so you have to be there to give yourself everything. At the end of the day, there’s always going to be someone who doesn’t like you, there’s always going to be someone better, and things are going to feel impossible. You need to believe that you can, and you can do it in your favourite stilettos (or Birkenstocks… whichever works).
Something important to take from Elle’s story is someone else’s opinion of you isn’t a rulebook you have to live by. One of the many privileges we have is that we get to choose who we are and how we show up every day. Elle uses that which makes her different to her advantage - she’s fun, fabulous, pink, and full of grit. This makes her think differently to everyone else and come out on top!
Bonus - taking a risk and trying something new might just lead you to something that you love.
Crikey - that was long. Well done to you if you read it all, and thank you. Hopefully it made you think about the characters that have influenced your life, and given you some suggestions for your next movie night. Fortunately I NEVER give bad film recommendations so you’re in safe hands. Which characters have made an impact on your life? I’d love to know! ✨
Oh I loved how you've run with this idea and these are some fabulous female characters!
Some of the best female characters of all time in this piece! Elle Woods will always be the IT girl for me; the message that you can be pretty and care about your appearance while still being intelligent and driven was such an important one for me growing up! The Holiday is also one of my favourite Christmas films and I adore both Iris and Amanda! Iris' cottage is my dream.