Monday 2nd Dec
Wake up to Do They Know It’s Christmas? by Band Aid, the 2024 version. Honest to God I thought I was experiencing deja-vu for the first time in my life. If you’ve not listened to it, go and listen and tell me if you get what I mean.
Guilt myself into doing a workout. HIIT, 30 mins.
Get ready and wear my new red coat with my patent heeled boots. Feel very chic. I imagine one of my primary school teachers back in the 00s would have rocked this look too.
Head to a meeting with some other creatives. Always a pleasure.
Cringe as I read some work aloud.
Drive home in the dark. Every single drive begins with my rendition of The Smallest Man Who Ever Lived by Taylor Swift.
No memory of the evening. Anything could have happened. However, I believe I fell asleep after watching an episode of Ludwig.
Tuesday 3rd Dec
Back in the office. Remember to pack a cookie from the batch I made at the weekend as an act of self-love.
Today’s focus is emails, so I do that.
Receive thanks from colleagues in my corner of the office for buying them all advent calendars. Feel smug.
Listen to new episode of The Rest is Entertainment on lunch break. Laugh.
Lead a meeting and feel very capable.
Wait fifteen minutes for my car to de-mist. Drive home.
Eat pasta.
Read Substack.
Specifically, The Do It All Girl by
, The Women Who Waited With Me by , and Who cares if first novels are secretly about the author’s life? by .Watch a vlog about someone going to Brighton and think I should go there.
Start reading The Appeal before bed. Love it.
Wednesday 4th Dec
Wake up inspired this morning, and determined that I will not be late for work. It all goes to plan until I remember I hadn’t made any lunch, so I hurriedly pour what I hope is soup but could be pasta sauce into a container and run. Arrive with twenty seconds to spare. Early.
Tell colleagues about amazing book. “Looks too long” says Michael.
Spend day doing general admin and wonder whether “square eyes” is a disease only reserved for children who watch too much TV, or whether grown-ups can get it from their work laptops.
Reply to comments on my latest post and wonder if I’ll have to start walking down the street incognito now.
Compare Spotify Wrapped with colleagues. Feel embarrassed annually.
Come home and make the most urgent hot chocolate I have ever made. Top it with marshmallows, and even eat extras because it is that sort of a day.
Spend about three hours reading The Appeal. Decide it’s the best book I’ve read all year and Janice Hallett deserves a special award from me.
Mum informs me that porridge and crumpets are now deemed “junk food” and we are horrified. “The world’s gone mad,” says Prasanna who owns a crumpet cafe near Buckingham Palace. I have to agree.1
Fabs arrives to stay the night. Joyous for all. She comes bearing biscuits, which we later decide are the best we’ve ever had. For reference, they are Border Dark Chocolate and Raspberry.
We probe Fabs about her many adventures, of which there are no end, because she is the most exciting and interesting member of our family.
Eventually, we go to bed, and I stay up an hour later to carry on reading my book. I contemplate becoming a detective, but decide it would be too hard.
Thursday 5th Dec
Get out of bed on time again because I don’t want Fabs to think I’m lazy. Might keep it going though because I had time to eat breakfast at home today rather than spill yoghurt down my front at my desk.
Affirmation today is “I deserve to feel good”, so I eat my advent chocolate before brushing my teeth.
Arrive at the office. Am offered a pork pie at nine o’clock in the morning. This is Britain.
Text from Lucy: “Are you free at all over Christmas?”
Text to Lucy: “Yes! I will book a train ticket!”
I book a train ticket.
Get bored at lunch so ask the boomers in the office what they think of Strictly Come Dancing this year. This is a mistake. Debate ensues about whether Tasha had the right to be there as she is a professional dancer (um, of course she does) and that Pete Wicks ought to win because he is “most improved” (questionable) but won’t because he’s not doing the live tour (conspiracy). I disagree with all of their opinions and hurriedly walked away, glancing behind at the flames I have unleashed.
Remember that I haven’t read any of The Appeal yet today so I cancel Pilates and tell myself I’ll do yoga on YouTube later.
Panic about tomorrow’s Substack post.
Drive home in the pitch black pouring rain. Ffs.
Eat dumplings.
Look out of the window and say “the rain is sooo heavy.”
Watch Moonflower Murders.
Read more of The Appeal and almost finish it but leave a pathetic amount for tomorrow.
Friday 6th Dec
Drag myself out of bed to do a workout.
Joe Wicks tries to kill me.
Get ready for work.
Go to work.
Manage to PARALLEL PARK FOR THE FIRST TIME IN FIVE YEARS.
Take picture of my car for evidence.
Catch up with colleagues.
Complete all the work.
Read this Friday’s Open-Hearted Joys by
. Am reminded to be grateful for the small things.Get ready for work’s Christmas do this evening.
How many mince pies is enough?
Leave at 9.
Saturday 7th Dec
Wake up at quarter to ten. Who do I think I am?
Realise I cannot move. I may have smashed it a little too hard during my workout yesterday, as both my legs feel as though bricks have been dropped on them from a height.
I delicately manœuvre myself out of bed and into the kitchen, audibly wincing so the rest of my family know to sympathise.
Visit Grandad.
Tell Grandad I am in pain from Joe Wicks. He asks what Joe Wicks is. I show him a workout. He reckons he could do that. He’s 94. He probably could.
Finish The Appeal. Excellent.
Head home.
Watch That Christmas on Netflix with my sister and her boyfriend, quickly joined by the whole family. This is the best new Christmas movie I’ve watched in years. Richard Curtis, you never disappoint me.
Get ready for dinner at the pub.
Put eyeliner on. Decide I shouldn’t have.
Eat pub fish and chips.
Text from Ben “We would smash this game”, with TikTok of Grab the Mic.
Order Grab the Mic immediately.
Demolish brownie and ice cream with fudge sauce.
Sunday 8th Dec
Watch Arthur Christmas while waiting for the rest of the house to wake up for big Sunday breakfast.
Read Things to leave in 2024 by
. She’s right.Eat croissants with strawberry jam.
Decorate the Christmas tree while watching the Gavin & Stacey Christmas special.
Wave goodbye to my sister and her boyfriend.
Watch Wallace and Gromit.
Try and write but get blocked, so don’t.
Snack on harissa nuts.
Eat a moderately festive dinner.
Finish watching Moonflower Murders with my parents. Cosy crime lovers, you’d like this.
Dig out my copy of How to Kill Your Family by Bella Mackie. Start reading.
Sleep.
Porridge and crumpets included in new junk food ad ban, BBC News, 4th Dec 2024.
Love this! Hope you make this into a weekly series 🩷
How many mince pies is enough? Let me know when you get an answer.