25 Comments
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Angela Tyler's avatar

I can relate to this so much!! Sometimes I think I prefer to live in the nostalgia of what was rather than the reality in front of me. I could get lost in the what ifs and whys forever and I’m not even sure I’d mind.

Loved this one!

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Ella's avatar

Thank you Angela! Ugh I'm the exact same. So difficult to accept that life doesn't go the way we expect sometimes 🤗

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nadia g's avatar

This was so beautiful and so heartbreaking to think about ❤️‍🩹

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Ella's avatar

Thank you so much Nadia! 🩷

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Martha's avatar

This is so beautifully written. I often think about that one quote "we are a mosaic of everyone we've ever loved," maybe it's the way you fold your clothes, take your coffee, or in the phrases you speak. This one deeply resonated, thank you for sharing Ella.

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Ella's avatar

Oh I love that, that's exactly what I'm trying to encapsulate. Thank you so much for reading Martha!!

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Jeannine's avatar

Beautifully written, Ella. Definitely touches a cord in my heart. ‘Belonging’, that is a big one for me…not about ‘belonging to…’ but just ‘belonging’ ….with a group of dear friends, within a community, within a family. This is an essay worth reading several times. Thank you.

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Ella's avatar

Thank you so much Jeannine! I'm so happy this one resonated with you, it's good to know there are a few of us out there who feel the same way. I appreciate you reading so much ✨

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Izzy | The Sunday Reads's avatar

Wow Ella this is just beautiful

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Ella's avatar

🥹🥹 so much love for you Izzy, thank you!

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Freya's avatar

Your writing is always so comforting, Ella. This piece was so so good <33

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Ella's avatar

Freya 🥹🥹 that's the nicest thing you could ever say. Thank you so much 💕

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Ciara ★'s avatar

Ella this was beautiful! The metaphors in this are stunning 💞 So many sentences I read and thought “wow”. You should feel so proud of this article! I also relate to all of it completely and I’m sure it will with many of us.

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Ella's avatar

Ciara I appreciate that SO MUCH!! Thank you!💞💞

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Ciara ★'s avatar

You’re welcome! 💞

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Michelle's avatar

Ahhh I loved this so much Ella! The ending of friendships – or any relation! – cuts so deep for many of us. I found this so beautifully written and also a real tonic ❤️

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Ella's avatar

Thank you Michelle!! I always find your pieces on friendship resonate so much, so coming from you this means a lot <3

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Lauren McGuinness's avatar

So well written Ella, great post! 💞

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Ella's avatar

Ahhh thank you Lauren!!! ☺️🩷

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Allie Smith's avatar

This was a perfect read, I too often fall into the loop of ‘what ifs’—so this is a good antidote to the spiral! ♥️

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Ella's avatar

Agh the what ifs are the worst!! Thank you so much for reading Allie 🧡

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Miranda's avatar

This was such a good read, on such an important topic we cannot talk about enough. Absolutely loved a lot of lines here!!! Very well written😻❤️

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Ella's avatar

Thank you so much Miranda!! So grateful for your kind words 💕

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abigail's avatar

Since my long-term relationship ended last April, I have been living my life through memories for the past 10 months.

Ella, you have put into words what I have been feeling. I have been grieving someone who is very much still alive, and having also experienced the death of loved ones, I must say (and maybe it's an unpopular opinion) that I have found this to be truly harder. Sometimes, that makes me think I'm a horrible person, but after almost 7 years together and planning a future with a man I really loved—that has been a massive loss, too.

Something that goes through my mind often; "And so a touch that was my birthright became foreign." TTPD came out 6 days before my breakup, and that whole album has been my anthem during this time.

Friendship-wise, I am guilty of being that friend who strays from the path. I am too quick to walk away when someone hurts me (even if unintentionally). I think it has become a common thing online that you should never hesitate to walk away from something that no longer serves you, and now it has become a bad habit of mine to do so before trying to resolve things.

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Soph's avatar

STOP MAKING ME CRY!!!

I think we could all think ourselves into oblivion if we spent too long pondering those 'what ifs'. I'm regularly visited by people in my dreams - some I'd actually forgotten existed - and for most of the day afterwards I'll have that hollow feeling in my stomach, like a part of me is gone.

Thank you for sharing Ella xxx

(Btw, you're so back x)

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