Nothing Should Be Noticed
On quiet luxury and the allure of privacy
In recent articles I’ve nodded towards the potentially damaging effects of TikTok fashion trends and the way in which they denote a decline in the development of personal style and individuality. Today, I want to take a closer look at one particular trend that has caught my eye: Quiet Luxury.
Quiet Luxury is defined as:
‘A lifestyle characterised by understated elegance and refined consumption, emphasising exclusivity and discerning taste without overt displays of wealth. Other terms to describe the same concept include stealth wealth, old money aesthetic, or silent luxury.’
The Quiet Luxury trend seems like a juxtaposition to me. How can something be a trend and quiet at the same time? Does that not defeat its objective? In this article, I want to look into where Quiet Luxury came from, and the figures that I see frequently associated with it. Do we really want a Quiet Luxury lifestyle, or just the image that comes with it?
Where did Quiet Luxury come from?
Before Sofia Richie, there was Bunny Mellon. She was an American gardener and heiress. She came from money, married into money, and made her own money. Bunny redesigned the White House rose gardens! She was an incredibly private person, however in 1969 she gave an interview with the New York Times in which she said ‘nothing should be noticed’. It’s worth noting that Bunny was talking about gardening here, but nonetheless, the quote has been taken to refer to her private and luxe lifestyle. Think digging up the weeds while wearing your finest pearls.
So, Quiet Luxury stems from the allure of privacy.
I’d highly recommend having a look at the Architectural Digest tour of her house and gardens - Old Money Pinterest would have a field day!
Old Money and Nostalgia
There’s no doubt that the obsession with the Quiet Luxury/Old Money lifestyle stems from a romanticisation of the past. In a world desperately trying to demonstrate wealth on social media platforms like TikTok and Instagram, discretion feels like a far away past life. The Old Money aesthetic acts as a rebellion against the brand hungry digital age.
However, the subtlety associated with Quiet Luxury contradicts with the purpose of the social media platforms it’s become prevalent on. Guy Trebay writes,
‘For Old Money like Mellon’s, discretion was indeed a key value, while for those in the class of New Old Money - that is, great fortunes made, often in tech, in a time frame bracketed by Myspace and TikTok - wealth display is noticeable, but only to those who know what they’re looking for.’
Quiet Luxury is like an exclusive members club. If you have to ask, then you’re not on the list. As human beings, we crave community, we want to be part of this elite club. With social media, everyone can see what the wealthy are up to - it’s not just about what’s made it to the front page of a tabloid anymore. In some ways, luxury is more accessible and yet more inaccessible than ever. The pandemic brought with it a cost of living crisis, and so we’re trapped in a paradox of wanting more and being able to afford less. We can look, but we can’t touch.
The Misrepresentation of Holly Golightly
One of the figures I see constantly associated with the Quiet Luxury aesthetic is Audrey Hepburn as Holly Golightly in Breakfast at Tiffany’s. I always find this comical, as although Holly has an exterior of glamour and sophistication, her life is the polar opposite - she literally ends up in prison! If you’ve read the novella by Truman Capote, you’ll know that Holly is a very isolated and damaged character. He writes, ‘she talked of her own [childhood'], too; but it was elusive, nameless, priceless, an impressionistic recital.’ Holly’s nebulous persona means she can remain in control of her own narrative. Her styling means she is perceived as expensive and exclusive. The reality? Her money comes from the men she socialises with and the lavish gifts they adorn her with. She doesn’t come from money, nor does she have any of her own. However, we see her extravagant parties and abundance of friends and it distracts from her sense of disconnect.
In Focus on Truman Capote’s Breakfast at Tiffany’s, Neil Root writes: ‘[Holly] is elusive, and therefore glamorous and more desirable. We desire what we cannot have.’ Our narrator, Frank or Paul - which is it really?!, is intrigued by Holly because of her ambiguity. We see this reflected in our social media crazed world, too. When someone is absent from the online sphere, we are drawn in by their inaccessibility. They become exclusive; their value increases.
Thus, it is ironic how a character whose life is not a thing of luxury has become a figure of a Quiet Luxury trend. Holly’s story is chaos. Root reiterates,
‘Holly Golightly is a perfect example of a character chasing her American Dream but never reaching it. […] we see that her metamorphosis is hollow and superficial, her so-called friends only such in the sun and strangely absent when the storm begins. Holly is a lost child acting a role to fulfil an image in order to get what she wants, but she never finds it.’
On Headlines & Reputation
So, I turn my attention to two icons within the fashion world: Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen, former actresses and founders of luxury brand The Row. The Row is known for its exquisite cut and tailoring, placing an emphasis on simplicity. Basics, but better.
Multiple factors come into play when it comes to determining why The Row is so exclusive. First of all, it’s hard to ignore the pricing. The day I have £8k to drop on a chocolate brown Margaux bag will be a heck of a day indeed (sheds tear). The second is the mystique Mary Kate and Ashley have built around the brand. Its first item was a perfect white t-shirt, and at the time, they contemplated not putting a label on it at all. Despite being the founders and designers, they didn’t want to be associated with the brand as they felt it could distract from the quality of the clothing.
Perhaps you remember the no phone policy at The Row’s 2024 Fashion Week show: “We kindly ask that you refrain from capturing or sharing any content during your experience.” Instead, everyone was given a notebook and pen to write down their thoughts. Again - back to basics. It’s so in line with the brand, a plain white tee, a pen and paper. An article by Vogue questioned whether a move like this is contributing to the ever increasing elitism of the fashion industry. Of course it does. But shouldn’t the artist be able to decide how they’d like people to perceive their art? Isabelle Truman writes, ‘“I think people were worried if they were caught filming they wouldn’t get invited back,” Dazed fashion director Emma Davidson says. Watching sans technology as an editor expected to capture content for her publication’s socials vastly impacted how much of the collection Davidson digested. It also created a buzzy atmosphere, she says. “It felt like a massive power move.” The Row did not respond to a request for comment by the time of publication.’ Hear that? Sounds like the luxury is a little quiet.
I imagine a lot of kids today might not even know who Mary Kate and Ashley are or quite how big they were because they don’t have a social media presence and they don’t give interviews. I hope they still watch their movies though because they were so good. Billboard Dad? Big yes. New York Minute? Give them their Oscars!
Anyway - Mary Kate and Ashley were everywhere in the early 00s. They even had a collection with George at ASDA. I had a white vest top with ‘Mary Kate and Ashley’ written on it in pink gemstones. It was my favourite garment. One might call it vintage The Row. TV, film, clothing lines, toys, magazines, you name it, Mary Kate and Ashley have been building an empire since they were six months old.
Now I admire them for a different reason.
To me, their decision to remain so notoriously private is why they are the perfect embodiment of Quiet Luxury. Yes, they’re incredibly chic, but it’s more than just their clothing that makes them aspirational. Can you tell me what Mary Kate and Ashley are up to? Where they were last week? What they’re working on right now? Didn’t think so. In fact, the most recent interview I could find with them was from November 2023, and funnily enough the very first thing they’re asked about is what ‘stealth wealth’ means to them.
‘What is it?’ replies Mary-Kate. They go on to answer that they love ‘beautiful fabrics’ and ‘quality things.’
Neither woman has a social media account. The only appearance they have made was on Instagram in 2019 to wish Ashley Benson a happy birthday. Their reluctance to participate in online culture allows them to gain control over their narrative, something that wasn’t available to them a decade ago.
What’s funny is even Mary Kate and Ashley wouldn’t have been considered Quiet Luxury a few years ago. The tabloids were plagued with headlines about their lives, true or false. Their lives were luxurious and lavish, yes, but quiet? Far from it. Looking at some of the headlines, I have to say they really put Mary-Kate through it in particular, it amazes me how intrusive the media can be. If anything, their work ethic and commitment to their private lives is credit to their strength. I’d even say the same about Sofia Richie, one of 2016’s party girls. A life of glamour, luxury holidays, houses, rubbing shoulders with the cream of the crop - she lived a luxury life. But she wasn’t considered aspirational until the aesthetic changed and had the pull of mystery surrounding her. It’s the whole, “the less you reveal the more people can wonder”. We can make up stories in our heads and never know if it’s true, and the appeal of Quiet Luxury continues.
This choice translates into their branding. When asked questions about their private life, they expertly redirect the journalist back to the clothes, something Jo Ellison notes as part of their strategy:
‘Anonymity is certainly the brand’s modus operandi. Was it a strategic choice? “We’re just private people,” shrugs Mary-Kate. “We’ve done interviews our whole life and, no offence, but I don’t know how this conversation is going to go. So after years of that, you just choose to stop talking to people if it’s not going to translate.”’
Mary Kate and Ashley have worked hard to take their power back and personally I think this is the most Quiet Luxury thing about them. The luxury doesn’t just lie in their clothing, it’s in their choices and their inaccessibility. When it comes to people embodying Quiet Luxury - you can’t put a price tag on a person. It’s the way they’re handling themselves that gives them that flair and authenticity. Social media has meant that we’ve adjusted to having fewer boundaries: gradually, we have become more accustomed to others knowing the most intimate things about us, from where we live to who we’re dating and where we work. Maybe, just maybe, we can keep things to ourselves?
What do we want from Quiet Luxury?
It seems to me that there’s many strands to Quiet Luxury. It’s more than just an aesthetic, it’s a lifestyle. Sure, you can buy yourself a perfectly tailored suit and a good pair of patent Mary-Janes and call it a day, but I can’t help but feel that for those that really want to embody this concept of ‘nothing should be noticed’, it’s going to take much more effort.
It’s not lost on me that this is a social media frenzy and the point is to share online the ways in which you’re achieving this ideal, which indicates that the general intention is to emulate the appearance rather than the whole lifestyle. That’s perfectly fine too! There’s no right or wrong way to participate in a trend. If something feels like you, go with it. It doesn’t matter how luxurious your life is - as I’ve explored, so many of Pinterest’s favourite Quiet Luxury queens weren’t considered aspirational until their clothing reflected their new life approach.
We live in a world obsessed with oversharing, which is where Quiet Luxury as a trend has its downfall. Our Quiet Luxury figureheads share a sense of elusiveness that makes them exclusive - an “off the radar” feel. Taking this as a guide, the key to Quiet Luxury lies in what we choose to share. After all, in the modern age where we’re all too familiar, there’s a definite luxury that comes alongside privacy.
It all just depends on what we’re trying to get from it - is it merely the look or is it a way of living? This little deep-dive leads me to believe that embodying Quiet Luxury doesn’t require big spending or inherited wealth, just a pair of indigo jeans that fit well and the understanding that sometimes, we should just keep things to ourselves.
Ugh I LOVE this Ella!!! I think there's such an irony in trends like Quiet Luxury and the current "demure" trend because if you're bragging about being demure or quietly luxe then you aren't, in fact, either of those things 🤣 I'd never actually heard of The Row before this piece!
You've now put me in a Mary-Kate and Ashley mood though so I know what I'll be watching this weekend...
I loved reading this Ella 🤍 Your take on quiet luxury embodies much more than just a look and that’s what I appreciate.