Sunny Side Up #21: How to Enjoy Your Twenties

The things I'm learning along the way.

I am feeling incredibly happy as I write this. It is the perfect autumnal Sunday. I’ve just been for the most perfect autumnal walk - the leaves have finally shifted to amber and decorate the pathways like confetti. Just like there’s no better smell than someone else’s BBQ in the summer, nothing compares to the comforting smell of someone else’s wood fire in the autumn.

I feel like each week, there’s a theme in terms of which articles I’m drawn to reading. This week, it was posts by my lovely Substack friends Michelle and Emily that stuck with me. Both were reflecting on their twenties, and what they’re taking with them into their thirties.

One thing about me is I will always listen to advice. I may not always take it and implement it, but I will always listen and ponder. Recently I’ve heard quite a bit of advice (I think you’re generally a magnet for unsolicited advice at this age), and I’m taking on board quite a lot of it. Examples of such advice -

• Stop hanging out with old people

• Try new things and say yes to opportunities when they arise

• Stop comparing your career path

• Get a credit card

All of this advice is reasonable, I feel. My thought process with this sort of thing is that it’s likely being given to me out of love, and from someone who has far more experience than I have. They have the best of intentions as they share their wisdom with me.

What’s more, the advice is so varied because it’s a reflection of everyone else’s experience. This means that nobody followed the same path. So why do we try so hard to stick to one?

After much trial and error, and four years in, I have decided that the key to enjoying your twenties is simply not overthinking it. There’s so much pressure on this period of time, and I can’t understand why. It’s like we’ve all been entered into a race with no clear finish line. There is a never ending list of shoulds and should nots, expectations placed on us by others and ourselves, yet the reality is that none of us know what we’re doing anyway. Naturally, this should mean that there’s no right or wrong way to do it, and thus our frantic attempts to tick all the boxes as fast as we can are a waste of anxiety and energy.

How to Enjoy Your Twenties (Ella’s Version)

• Lick the spoon. There are no grown ups telling you not to.

• Get a savings account. Put money away as soon as you get paid.

• Find a hobby you love. For me, it’s Pilates with my middle-aged huns.

• Do something social at least once a week. Even if you’re tired, it’s important to maintain relationships with people that matter to you.

• Don’t judge yourself if you’re not doing what everyone else is doing.

• Go to pop concerts.

• Take care of yourself. Eat vegetables, drink plenty of water, exercise, get enough sleep — this is probably the most important thing on the list.

• Do things because you want to do them.

• Put time limits on social media. You can’t enjoy yourself and live freely if you’re engrossed in the comparison game.

What would you add to the list? Let me know!

You don’t need to have graduated by 21. You don’t need to be in your dream job by 23. You don’t need to buy a house by the time you’re 25. You don’t need to have found ‘the one’ by 27. You definitely don’t need it ‘all figured out’ by 29.

I am naturally a tense person. I am a worrier — best believe if there’s something to think about I will think about it until I’m blue in the face. However, this week I’ve been thinking that the best way to live is one day at a time, following the path of least resistance. I don’t know where I’ll be this time next year, but I hope it’s a wonderful surprise!

Worrying about something as intensely as I’m capable of doesn’t make any of my life milestones hurry up. If anything, it pushes them away because of all the second hand stress I’m inflicting. It takes the excitement away. Above all, isn’t that what life is supposed to be about? The unexpected, serendipitous moments that glitter the mundane.

I’d love to know the best advice you’ve been given, or the best advice you have for someone in their twenties! Please share in the comments 💗

• I hadn’t noticed how much cake was involved this week until now. A summary of cakes - chocolate brick cake was the Bake Off snack of choice this week; second, we have a selection of rolo brownies, a caramel crispy thing, and a slice of carrot cake we indulged in during a work meeting; on Sunday I baked these cinnamon and orange biscuits and they’re sooo easy to eat. 10/10 delicious would bake again.

• Monday started off strong with this goooorgeous sunrise!! It was actually a lot more pink in person. One perk of waking up when it’s still dark is getting to see the sunrise.

• I got my hair cut! Gone for layers this time because having it all one length made it stick out a little like a triangle because of all the weight. It’s a lot better now.

• It occurred to me at the weekend that I’ve had an extreme lack of fresh air recently so we went for a Sunday morning walk. I don’t think you can beat an autumn walk in the English countryside - the smell of woodsmoke, the chill in the air partnered with the heat from the sun as it ripples through the trees. Complete bliss. I came back home with a very cold nose and had a big cup of tea.

If you want a laugh whilst also considering a very important issue that plagues British society, listen to Scouse kids debate the price of a Freddo.

I found

Michelle

’s article Me at 33 a great source of comfort this week. As I discussed earlier, there’s so much pressure on our twenties, and for what? Michelle’s pieces constantly remind me to slow down and enjoy where I’m at.

Emily’s piece How I’m Moving Forward In My 30’s was a really therapeutic read — her whole Substack is, if you’re ever looking for someone who feels like a wise older sister, read Ori.

abigail

let us into her inner monologue in A Reminder to Myself, an incredibly honest, painfully relatable piece. If you’ve ever experienced the stormy parts of life, Abigail’s words will resonate.

That’s it for today! Same time next week? Xx