Sunny Side Up #9: Seeking comfort on bad days
How can we help ourselves when things get tough? ❤️
My plan for this week’s edition of Sunny Side Up was to do a sort of “getting my life together” thing but the week really didn’t pan out that way.
We’ve had a distressing week in the UK, and to sit and write something as though it hasn’t completely knocked me and everyone else just feels wrong. I don’t want to spend too long talking about it because it’s an incredibly upsetting subject and honestly I don’t think there are words to explain how horrific and tragic the Southport attack was, but you can donate to the JustGiving to support Alder Hey Children’s Charity here.
With that in mind, I want to talk about the fact that sometimes, feeling sad, angry, tearful, down - feeling any negative emotion - is okay. Sometimes it’s what’s needed, it’s the right thing to feel. As much as my Sunny Side Up series is designed to help add a touch of optimism to an average week, it’s not a magical remedy to negative thoughts. I used to put pressure on myself to feel happy all the time because I didn’t want to be a ‘negative Nelly’ but that simply wouldn’t be realistic or healthy.
This week, my intention has been to sit with my feelings, whatever might arise, and indulge in comforts that will help to settle them. Conveniently, I used to work on an anxiety helpline, so I picked up a few helpful tips that I thought I’d share in case someone needs to hear them. If you’re really struggling, make sure you go and talk to your doctor.
The most important thing is to make sure we have a healthy basis to start from. There’s four strands to this:
Eat nutritious foods
Drink plenty of water
Get enough sleep
Exercise - any movement. Whatever you feel like - yoga, a walk, pilates, HIIT, a run. “Movement is medicine” and all that.
These four basics are going to stand us in good stead to deal with our emotions. I’d also recommend trying some deep breathing exercises. Personally I use the Headspace app when I need a little time out, but there are plenty available for free on YouTube. If meditation isn’t for you, go for a walk around the block and take notice of what you can see, hear, taste and smell. It’s a really helpful technique to bring us back to the present moment.
Once we’ve got the basics down we can start to feel a bit more in control. No matter how down you might be feeling, you’re looking after your body, which will do your mind a big favour.
The world is incredibly insistent that we hurry up, which is unhelpful when we’re struggling. The best thing we can do in these periods is slow down for a minute and become aware of what we need and how we can best comfort ourselves. I never want to consume any upsetting or stressful content when I’m already feeling down because it just adds more fuel to the fire. Instead, I need as much good as I can get to remind me that there is always light at the end of the tunnel.
Some of my other favourite things to do when I need a comfort blanket are:
Watching a rom-com or comedy movie (if I’m really desperate, a Christmas one)
Listening to an uplifting podcast
Baking
Writing
Spending time with friends and family
It’s just as important, if not more so, to seek out joy when it feels like it’s nowhere to be found. It will be somewhere lurking in the shadows. Sometimes it just requires a little bit of digging and patience. I’d love to know what helps you through a rough patch in the comments! 💗
A Unified Theory of Glen Powell by
- anyone who knows me knows of my love for Glen Powell. I’m not even sure what it is, but since Set It Up - dare I say since The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society - he’s had a special place in my heart. Anne has a really interesting take on why Glen seems to have such a strong Hollywood feel about him. Also, how cute is his dog Brisket?!Navigating a mother-daughter relationship by
- Ciara’s piece brought tears to my eyes this week! I have a really close bond with my own mum, and Ciara perfectly captured the essence of a mother-daughter relationship. It’s such a unique and fragile thing. Just go and read it. - A really thought-provoking piece about the struggle we have to endure to match the beauty standard, and how it’s really not worth it at all. I feel very strongly about the absurdity of beauty standards, and agree with everything Grace said. She also reminded me that I need to buy insoles for my smart work shoes.Why I have never gone on a girls’ holiday by
- I feel like I could have written this piece myself. Lauren’s writing never fails to resonate with me, but this piece in particular made me feel very seen. I have always felt funny about the fact that I’ve never been on a girls’ holiday, and wondered what that says about me. Lauren perfectly encapsulates this feeling of alienation, wrapped up with a ribbon of acceptance. Definitely check out Not That Deep if you’re looking for pieces that feel like you’re catching up with your friend in your PJs.
MOVING | I’m a firm believer that exercise has healing qualities and it’s played a huge role this week. Weights, yoga, HIIT and Pilates helped me find peace of mind this week.
READING | I had a delivery of fresh books on Tuesday! I picked up The Seven Year Slip by Ashley Poston and The Love of my Afterlife by Kirsty Greenwood for a bit of romance and Anxious People by Fredrik Backman. I love A Man Called Ove so I have high hopes for this one!
WATCHING | Gilmore Girls! Still on series one, but I just loooove Rory and Dean. Lorelai is my favourite character so far. I also watched Material Girls for the first time in yeeearrrss - can Hilary Duff start making girly movies again please? She also needs to do the whole soundtrack with Haylie - it’s the only way!
MARVELLING | Like everyone, obsessed with the Olympics. These people are superhuman, I’m constantly in awe of what they can do. On Saturday I watched the Simone Biles documentary on Netflix and all I can say is I love her.
BAKING | We somehow ended up with a load of bananas, so I decided to do a Sunday baking sesh. I made banana and peanut butter brownies (sensational) and banana muffins for breakfast this week. Feeling very productive. Also caught up on Zoe Sugg’s Vlogust videos which made me super nostalgic so went back to Vlogmas from 2017. Never too early!!
CHOOSING | I’ve accepted that in the current climate it’s going to take me a liiiittle longer than I’d anticipated to find my Barbie Dreamhouse so I’m redecorating my room at my parents’ house to become a haven and not the jumble sale it’s become in the past year. Paint samples are on the wall! Spoiler alert, I went with none of these.
I hope you enjoyed this week’s edition of Sunny Side Up! See you here same time next week? If you liked this one, there’s plenty more to catch up on in the archive :)
this was necessary for my morning !!
Blimmin’ loved this from start to finish Ella ❤️ you are so generous with mentioning other people’s writing and I am so honoured to be included! ALSO I am all about rewatching Vlogmas videos from different years when I feel sad and in need of major comforting vibes - Zoe Sugg is my ultimate comfort watch. Thank you for this gorgeous read, I adored it xxx