Sunny Side Up #8: Slow down, you're doing fine!

Living life at your own pace 🌻

Jul 30, 2024

Why does nobody warn you about how lonely your twenties can feel?!! I don’t mean that in terms of being physically lonely, I have friends and I’m with different people every day, I’m very lucky in that sense. Just navigating it all can feel so isolating.

Growing up, I had the expectation that I would go to university at eighteen, make friends for life, move to London and become a serious journalist with a luxe flat in Kensington, and I’d probably be engaged by the time I was twenty-six or something. My reality has been quite different: I went to university at twenty, two years later than the rest of my school friends, didn’t make a big uni friendship group but that’s okay. I have since moved back home and I love it, and I love my job. My focus at the moment is very much my career and myself, I don’t have much interest in relationships or moving out soon. My life runs at a much slower pace than it did a year ago, and I like it that way.

Why, then, do I feel so guilty for it?

I often get overwhelmed by a sense of pressure, but it’s not pressure inflicted on me by someone else, it’s the weight of my own expectations. Even though I really like my life as it is right now, I can’t seem to shake the feeling that I should be doing more. I should be going out and meeting people, moving to a bigger city, being more independent. It’s like all the parts of my life that I love so much right now are incorrect because they weren’t on my original “plan”.

One of my favourite songs is Vienna by Billy Joel. For me, it serves as a reminder that I have time, and I don’t need to achieve all my goals in one go. Social media has created the facade that everyone else has it together to the point where my lovely, if somewhat mundane, life feels like it’s not good enough. That couldn’t be further from the truth.

I adore my jobs, I’m fortunate enough to have two, and I’m even more fortunate to love the people I work with. They’re also very flexible, and that works well for me right now.

I have a season ticket to the football which means I get to spend quality time with my family. Family is an ultimate priority for me, and I don’t think this will ever change.

This Substack thing has been a real treasure in my life and makes me think more optimistically about my future. It helps me work towards my goals and I’m investing time into my favourite hobby for the first time in years.

Of course, there are things that need improvement: this year has been one of the most difficult in terms of anxiety for me. It takes a lot of time and effort to find what helps, but seven months into the year, I’m having far more good days than bad now.

I miss my friends and still haven’t figured out how to navigate this. I don’t feel lonely, but everyone seems to be chronically terrible at texting these days (including me!) so I sometimes feel disconnected from my nearest and dearest. I don’t see my friends often because we all live so far from one another. But it can be sorted out, too. If anyone has any tips on making friends in your twenties or keeping your existing friendships even when everyone’s lives are going in different directions, let me know!!

I’ve spent a lot of time punishing myself because I want to be single, and for some reason I’ve been feeling like I should be chasing after boys like children playing tag. Society has always pushed romance as an ideal, your twenties is for dating and making mistakes lalala, and with most of my friends in long term relationships I felt like it was something I should be aiming for as well, but the truth is I feel perfectly happy spending the nights by myself and living by my own rules. It’s just not a priority for me right now.

And that’s the important part - not right now. In the future, yes, but not today. Probably not tomorrow.

The best thing about life is I get to change my mind whenever I like - and so do you!

So, I’ll leave this little musing with one of my favourite lyrics:

Slow down, you’re doing fine / You can’t be everything you want to be before your time.

While this is something I’m constantly having to tell myself, let this be your reminder for the week that wherever you are, it’s okay, and it’s enough! We have plenty of time. 🤗

I caught up on so many Substack posts whilst on holiday. I loved these ones. ❤️

Heartbreak and building a home in yourself by

Emily

Weekly Diary: ABBA Voyage, studio shoots, long overdue catch ups and birthday BBQs by

Lauren Brook

Pro Tip: Invite the Girlies Over For Brunch by

Kristen Garaffo

Dressing For The Fe(male) Gaze? by

Ciara

The price of privacy by

Soph Coombs

Death (Almost) By Seagull by

HOT CHOCOLATING | The cloudy weather was a shock to the system upon my return to the UK, and a hot chocolate was in order! I drank this one whilst writing Friday’s post which I keep doing until far too late at night. I had another on Friday after an early appointment to revive me for the rest of the day. Works a treat.

FINDING | There’s nothing more pleasing than a kitchen garden! These tomatoes were just perfect and I’ve also been loving fresh mint tea with leaves from the garden.

CHEERING | If you read my post Finding Your Jeans you’ll know that my cousin Fabs has been training for Paris 2024 and this week we got the official news that SHE’S IN!!! Fabs if you’re reading, we’re all soooo excited to cheer you on!! (also have had to officially accept I will never be the coolest person in this family - the competition is too strong!!)

LISTENING | Bit of a throwback for you here, but X by Ed Sheeran is still one of my all time favourite albums and I’ve had it on repeat while I’m driving. Some absolute bangers on there.

TREASURING | I work with a lot of artists for my job which sometimes means I get some really beautiful pieces. One of the artists makes small natural sculptures out of materials she finds on her dog walks and LOOK at this adorable little bug!! He’s called Ray because he reminds me of the firefly from The Princess and the Frog, and he’s perched happily on my bureau.

PODCASTING | Does anyone else listen to Parenting Hell with Rob Beckett and Josh Widdecombe? I was listening to this week’s episode to try and relax before sleep but had to turn it off because I couldn’t stop laughing. Definitely recommend listening if you need to add a little bit of comic relief into your day!