Ella this piece was incredible. So many great points made here. First of all the “you’re too good for them!” comment used to get on my nerves! It doesn't make any sense at all...
Also coming from someone who is in a relationship I wouldn't really say Valentines day is something that should feel like you are missing out on. When I wasn't in a relationship I used to feel the exact same way you did. Particularly in uni. The word Valentine day was sprawled out everywhere in posters, freshers events, card swaps. It particularly made me feel like I was missing out and needed somebody.
But I think the commercial side of things with the pink pampered products in the supermarkets and Valentine's night- in deals, certainly makes Valentines feel like you really have to soak it all up. Like make the most exciting and out-there plans with your partner and if there is not partner your girls, receive or buy flowers and if you don't that's a red flag (sorry, what?). It's like a to-do list.
I've seen a lot of Valentine's reel content posted today and I just don't think that truly encaptures what love is. It's like a day of performance is how I see it. I don't know if that sounds really brutal but love is for everyday not just one day in particular.
Sorry for dumping all of this but I really enjoyed reading this and feel like I could chat about this topic forever honestly. Enjoy your Valentine's day whatever you get up to. A cup of hot chocolate, and a rom-com movie awaits me 💓
No it's so funny the things people say to you when they find out you're single, it's as though they're trying to make you feel better, which implies you're meant to feel bad about it??
Honestly I wasn't feeling bad about it until I went into M&S and saw the Colin the Caterpillar for two 💔 socials and marketing have made it a huge day like you said, so now it's not just if you don't have a partner you can't celebrate, but also if your friends aren't free, you can't do Galentines! It's more, more, more all the time.
I generally love hearing love stories and I'm not bothered by people being in relationships, but something about this day just doesn't sit right with me 😂
Thank you for this Ciara, I really appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment and put so much thought into it 💞
Another utterly excellent piece, Ella! Alone time is a non-negotiable for me, and luckily James feels the same, too - we both really treasure time to do our own thing, independently of each other. There are some things that are just so much more joyous when I do them alone or with a girlfriend, and I don't ever plan on forcing James to come charity shopping with me when I could have a much better time on my own.
Thank you Lauren!! ♥️ I think that’s a sign of a really healthy relationship - to be your own person alongside someone else without being completely consumed by them. Remembering we’re just as valuable as someone we love is essential! Thank you so much for reading!!
Wow Ella you just have such a distinctive writers voice that you can hear right through your writing! Such an entertaining read and a totally different take on valentines day than what the media has been shoving down my throat. So refreshing!
This is such a beautifully written and honest piece, Ella! I felt every word. To be completely honest, I hate Valentine's Day - and this year more than ever, it truly got on my nerves haha.
I've been in a relationship for 13 years (mad, I know), but as far as Valentine's Day is concerned, it's never been a thing between my partner and I. With any relationship - romantic or otherwise - I strongly believe that the personal moments (anniversaries or places that mark special memories or random acts of kindness) hit SO much deeper than a marketing-led holiday can ever dream of. But, society has a sneaky way of disregarding that and instead making us feel that the 14th February is the be all and end all. It's not. And it REALLY annoys me!!!
Sorry to go off on a tangent there haha, but this piece really spoke to me! You have a wonderful outlook, and reading about your love - particularly going to football with your Grandad - really sang the truth to me. That is what matters 🫶🏻
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment Harriet!!
I feel like that's what Valentine's Day should be, and the way we celebrate it should be personal rather than the heavily commercialised version shoved in our faces every year.
I didn't 'get' to celebrate Valentine's Day with a partner until I was 26 and, arguably, that doesn't count for many reasons I won't get into right now, LOL. But I have always loved the holiday because love comes in so many forms and I *am* a sucker for pink and red and heart-print everything.
"I consider myself very fortunate that not a day of my life has gone by without love." – Love is love and you are getting sooo much from V-day with or without a partner. I loved celebrating it with my best friends and sister, my Mum and Dad, just as much as with my boyfriend this year!
I actually was such a Valentines hater this year until I went into a coffee shop on Sunday and it was all decked out with pink hearts and balloons I just felt like I couldn't be such a Debbie downer on it, it was too wholesome.
Love this as always Ella. As someone who is in a relationship, I think I can confidently say you're not missing much on Valentine's Day. This year we both forgot to write our cards so did them after work lol - and no gifts, bc it's a capitalist holiday. I felt the same way you did when I was single, but more because of the "what if" men in my life, instead of the actual holiday itself. Now I'm actually with someone, it's bizarrely obvious that Feb 14th is just another day.
I love how you listed other forms of love as well. No offence to Aidan (lol) but I'm just as in love with my best friend as I am with him, it's just a different kind. You seem to find love in the everyday, and I'm certain one day the perfect person will come along for you. He might just be taking a little longer in the Richard Curtis/Nicholas Sparks School of Romantic Development.
Aww thank you Soph 🥹 it's so funny to read all the comments and find so many people saying a similar thing about how Valentine's Day actually just feels like a normal day once all the novelty and wondering wears off. Still special, but I feel like it has to be more personal than a dine-in-for-two deal can allow!
Better get an A* in the Richard Curtis/Nicholas Sparks school tbh
"There’s a seat for every arse" 😂 I totally feel ya girl. I was single for most of my 20s while my friends were in long-term relationships. This definitely exacerbated my feelings of FOMO and loneliness. But, much like you, I had other forms of love that made that time so joyous and fulfilling. Your life sounds like it's full of love; don't let some fat winged baby with an arrow tell you otherwise!
I feel you Ella! I was single for all of 25, 26, and part of 27 (2.5 years) while all my friends got engaged, married, moved in with spouses etc and Valentine’s Day was so annoying to me! But even more so all the people telling me everything was fine and being single was great and I was like … well if it’s so great, why are you in a relationship then?? The intimidating comment is very frequent too 🙄🙄 I feel your pain and it’s valid!!
Thank you for reading Caroline! 🩷🩷 UGH the intimidating comment - like what do they even mean by that, no I’m not!! So difficult to decode what people are trying to say to you and I’ve just decided that they’re not really trying to say anything at all lol
Hahaha exactly !! I finally figured out a way to enjoy being single and it wasn’t by telling myself I was just soooo intimidating and amazing that men were scared to date me 😂 actually writing an essay on my single years now
Ella this piece was incredible. So many great points made here. First of all the “you’re too good for them!” comment used to get on my nerves! It doesn't make any sense at all...
Also coming from someone who is in a relationship I wouldn't really say Valentines day is something that should feel like you are missing out on. When I wasn't in a relationship I used to feel the exact same way you did. Particularly in uni. The word Valentine day was sprawled out everywhere in posters, freshers events, card swaps. It particularly made me feel like I was missing out and needed somebody.
But I think the commercial side of things with the pink pampered products in the supermarkets and Valentine's night- in deals, certainly makes Valentines feel like you really have to soak it all up. Like make the most exciting and out-there plans with your partner and if there is not partner your girls, receive or buy flowers and if you don't that's a red flag (sorry, what?). It's like a to-do list.
I've seen a lot of Valentine's reel content posted today and I just don't think that truly encaptures what love is. It's like a day of performance is how I see it. I don't know if that sounds really brutal but love is for everyday not just one day in particular.
Sorry for dumping all of this but I really enjoyed reading this and feel like I could chat about this topic forever honestly. Enjoy your Valentine's day whatever you get up to. A cup of hot chocolate, and a rom-com movie awaits me 💓
WOW thank you so much for this comment Ciara!!!
No it's so funny the things people say to you when they find out you're single, it's as though they're trying to make you feel better, which implies you're meant to feel bad about it??
Honestly I wasn't feeling bad about it until I went into M&S and saw the Colin the Caterpillar for two 💔 socials and marketing have made it a huge day like you said, so now it's not just if you don't have a partner you can't celebrate, but also if your friends aren't free, you can't do Galentines! It's more, more, more all the time.
I generally love hearing love stories and I'm not bothered by people being in relationships, but something about this day just doesn't sit right with me 😂
Thank you for this Ciara, I really appreciate you reading and taking the time to comment and put so much thought into it 💞
Another utterly excellent piece, Ella! Alone time is a non-negotiable for me, and luckily James feels the same, too - we both really treasure time to do our own thing, independently of each other. There are some things that are just so much more joyous when I do them alone or with a girlfriend, and I don't ever plan on forcing James to come charity shopping with me when I could have a much better time on my own.
Thank you Lauren!! ♥️ I think that’s a sign of a really healthy relationship - to be your own person alongside someone else without being completely consumed by them. Remembering we’re just as valuable as someone we love is essential! Thank you so much for reading!!
Wow Ella you just have such a distinctive writers voice that you can hear right through your writing! Such an entertaining read and a totally different take on valentines day than what the media has been shoving down my throat. So refreshing!
🥹🥹 Thank you so much Holly!! That’s so kind!! Really happy you enjoyed reading <3
This is such a beautifully written and honest piece, Ella! I felt every word. To be completely honest, I hate Valentine's Day - and this year more than ever, it truly got on my nerves haha.
I've been in a relationship for 13 years (mad, I know), but as far as Valentine's Day is concerned, it's never been a thing between my partner and I. With any relationship - romantic or otherwise - I strongly believe that the personal moments (anniversaries or places that mark special memories or random acts of kindness) hit SO much deeper than a marketing-led holiday can ever dream of. But, society has a sneaky way of disregarding that and instead making us feel that the 14th February is the be all and end all. It's not. And it REALLY annoys me!!!
Sorry to go off on a tangent there haha, but this piece really spoke to me! You have a wonderful outlook, and reading about your love - particularly going to football with your Grandad - really sang the truth to me. That is what matters 🫶🏻
Thank you so much for this thoughtful comment Harriet!!
I feel like that's what Valentine's Day should be, and the way we celebrate it should be personal rather than the heavily commercialised version shoved in our faces every year.
I really appreciate you reading, thank you! ☺️💞
100%! Couldn't agree more. 'Personal over commercial' is spot on 💜
Loved reading this Ella!
I didn't 'get' to celebrate Valentine's Day with a partner until I was 26 and, arguably, that doesn't count for many reasons I won't get into right now, LOL. But I have always loved the holiday because love comes in so many forms and I *am* a sucker for pink and red and heart-print everything.
"I consider myself very fortunate that not a day of my life has gone by without love." – Love is love and you are getting sooo much from V-day with or without a partner. I loved celebrating it with my best friends and sister, my Mum and Dad, just as much as with my boyfriend this year!
Also, my bf bought the ASDA Valentine's Dine In for Two... and ate both portions for himself this year. So...! 😂
HAHAHA love this!!! Who says romance is dead? 😂
I actually was such a Valentines hater this year until I went into a coffee shop on Sunday and it was all decked out with pink hearts and balloons I just felt like I couldn't be such a Debbie downer on it, it was too wholesome.
Appreciate you reading as always <3 <3
Love this as always Ella. As someone who is in a relationship, I think I can confidently say you're not missing much on Valentine's Day. This year we both forgot to write our cards so did them after work lol - and no gifts, bc it's a capitalist holiday. I felt the same way you did when I was single, but more because of the "what if" men in my life, instead of the actual holiday itself. Now I'm actually with someone, it's bizarrely obvious that Feb 14th is just another day.
I love how you listed other forms of love as well. No offence to Aidan (lol) but I'm just as in love with my best friend as I am with him, it's just a different kind. You seem to find love in the everyday, and I'm certain one day the perfect person will come along for you. He might just be taking a little longer in the Richard Curtis/Nicholas Sparks School of Romantic Development.
Aww thank you Soph 🥹 it's so funny to read all the comments and find so many people saying a similar thing about how Valentine's Day actually just feels like a normal day once all the novelty and wondering wears off. Still special, but I feel like it has to be more personal than a dine-in-for-two deal can allow!
Better get an A* in the Richard Curtis/Nicholas Sparks school tbh
"There’s a seat for every arse" 😂 I totally feel ya girl. I was single for most of my 20s while my friends were in long-term relationships. This definitely exacerbated my feelings of FOMO and loneliness. But, much like you, I had other forms of love that made that time so joyous and fulfilling. Your life sounds like it's full of love; don't let some fat winged baby with an arrow tell you otherwise!
hahah it's true!! Thank you so much for reading and for your comment Cha 💙
I completely relate to all of this! Loved this piece
Thank you Tamzin, I really appreciate that!! So glad it resonated with you 🤍
I feel you Ella! I was single for all of 25, 26, and part of 27 (2.5 years) while all my friends got engaged, married, moved in with spouses etc and Valentine’s Day was so annoying to me! But even more so all the people telling me everything was fine and being single was great and I was like … well if it’s so great, why are you in a relationship then?? The intimidating comment is very frequent too 🙄🙄 I feel your pain and it’s valid!!
Thank you for reading Caroline! 🩷🩷 UGH the intimidating comment - like what do they even mean by that, no I’m not!! So difficult to decode what people are trying to say to you and I’ve just decided that they’re not really trying to say anything at all lol
Hahaha exactly !! I finally figured out a way to enjoy being single and it wasn’t by telling myself I was just soooo intimidating and amazing that men were scared to date me 😂 actually writing an essay on my single years now
YES!! Who thought it was a good idea to tell us we're scary 😂 I'll definitely be reading your essay when you post it