Un-busying

Sunny Side Up #30

As I write this it is Sunday and I am looking out at a blue sky and bare trees lit by a bright sun. This is the kind of morning I’ve been hoping for.

I wake up on weekdays at 7.07. It would be 7 sharp, but my radio is my alarm and I prefer to skip the news headlines first thing. I appreciate that for a lot of people, 7am is a lie-in, but during the winter months I simply cannot bring myself to drag my heavy limbs from beneath the blanket. I’m still opening my blinds to grey, to birds still in deep slumber and an apprehensive sun.

However, this morning I woke to sunlight bleeding through my window and I wanted to experience the day. So, I muddied my pink wellington boots in a nearby field and smiled at cyclists as they flew past me and felt the briskness of the cold on my nose. I saw a squirrel and a shetland pony. I saw a cat slither back into its home after a long night out. I saw life glow through windows of the local pub as families settled in for a Sunday Roast. With that, pressure lifted from my bones and I felt light again.

January has been an unusual month for me, whereby I have been so busy that I have not made time for the things that matter to me. The general tone has been one of lethargy, though I don’t think that’s abnormal for the start of the year. Launching into the new year with cold days, early starts, and heaps of overtime will naturally feel like a lot to deal with. On Friday night, I came home from work at half past five, ate a pizza, and fell asleep. I’m not even twenty-five yet. I’m still young. Why do I have the sleep schedule of an OAP?

However, if January has taught me one thing, it’s that this new routine of being so busy that I don’t make time for the things I love, including writing for Substack, really doesn’t sit well with me.

I haven’t baked a cake. I’ve not been exercising regularly. I haven’t watched a film. I haven’t written consistently.

It makes me sad. So, now I’ve tried being really very busy, I know it’s not for me. I fear this is the reality of being an adult, though. Learning to make time for things when it feels like there’s no time at all is a new challenge, but one that I will have to learn to live with. I’ll let you know how I get on.

The way I’m dealing with it for now is by planning exciting things that feel encouraging. Maybe I’ve gone too far, but I have plans taking me up to November. I’ve booked a trip to Edinburgh (recommendations welcome!), a few shows, a live podcast — things to keep me going. Because when we wake up and it’s dark outside, we need to know that we can still put one foot in front of the other and move forward.

• I read Orbital earlier in January and just when my brain started to check out it would hit me with a really fantastic quote. “The past comes, the future, the past, the future. It’s always now, it’s never now.” Funnily enough, it was a great read for helping me to slow down. You can’t feel fidgety reading this or you just won’t take it in. You’ve got to allow yourself to sit with it.

• Grabbing moments to write whenever I can!

• One thing I did really well in January was breakfasts. Liza and I went for breakfast a couple of times, and the last time we went we elongated our stay and added a hot chocolate at the end. We must have been there for about three hours, chatting, observing the people around us, hiding from the rain.

• On Monday I had the most blissful evening reading Me Before You by Jojo Moyes. What a classic. I’ve done a lot of re-reading in January — perhaps a reflection of my chasing comfort!

• My new style icon is Coco Mellors. Have spent many happy moments scrolling through and obsessing over her amazing clothes.

• The aforementioned pink wellies. They are now brown.

• A little random, but we watched Saturday night TV for the first time in goodness knows how long this week and it was actually the most uplifting thing ever. Started with Gladiators which I have never seen before but my friends’ children absolutely love it and I can see why, I feel like I’d have been obsessed with it when I was little. Absolutely harmless entertaining TV. And then Michael McIntyre’s Big Show which I completely forgot existed but the way they surprised Heather Small and then made her randomly perform was so good, who came up with that? Love that for the BBC.

Please tell me what’s brought you happiness this week 👇

This will probably come as no surprise but I’ve not done anywhere as much reading on Substack as I normally do. Here’s a selection of some of the things I have loved, though —

• In defence of physical media by

  Freya 🌈🍰

• Is it really “just a game” by

  Holly Watt

• On meet cutes by

  Izzy

• Dazy Diaries #3 by

  Ciara

And other things…

• Death in Paradise is back to cure my winter blues. You simply cannot be stressed listening to that theme tune.

• The Mrs Harris Goes to Paris soundtrack has been my work playlist of choice.

• Watching old episodes of Miranda brings me immense joy.

And I am so happy to say… same time next week? Xx