"I don’t think anyone should stay in a relationship that doesn’t fulfil them or make them happy, but the idea that there will be a single, perfect person who ticks every one of your boxes is just unrealistic, and it’s a selfish approach to being in a relationship. It should be about both of you, together."
^^ That really got me! I see some of my friends with these insane checklists for men and just want to shake them and scream that it's okay if their significant other likes different music than them or has a few different hobbies or prefers slightly less spicy food than they do. They shouldn't want to date carbon copies of themselves LOL!
Thank you Madeline!! I'm so happy you liked it!! I completely agree, there seems to be a cycle of chasing perfection but we all know perfection doesn't exist. We need to find someone who will accept our imperfections, and we need to accept them in our partner as well! (to an extent of course!)
Another amaaazing article Ella! I adore RC films and I'm a hopeless romantic, so this speaks to me. You're so right about reality shows and how they've completely warped our expectations of others, and also changed what we want from others (I think) too.
I see my friends who are dating and it makes me want to cry nowadays. What do you mean you don't want to tell them you want to see them again??? 😭 It must be so tough to form a relationship with someone when you are so protective of yourself.
Anyway, thank you so much for this post - I loved it.
Eeee thank you Soph!!! YES! I hadn't thought about it changing what we want from others but you're so right. Also, with shows like LI we know that most of them are going on there for a business move, which is fair enough, but then we end up comparing our real-life situations to something structured for our entertainment??? Doesn't work!!
Completely - I think online dating and the way we communicate with one another online has distorted so much. The way we can't appear to be excited or interested in someone because it might be considered off-putting baffles me.
What we can take from this is you need to keep up with the Soph x Aidan content. Authentic real relationships >>> 😌
You’re so right! I hadn’t thought about the business move perspective at all! How on earth can we compare reality to that?!
Online dating culture is killing romance in my opinion. I know very few people who’ve had actual genuine success with it and that’s because they’ve promptly taken the relationship mostly offline. I think it should be used as a tool to get people face-to-face rather than the predominant way a relationship is formed!
Awww thank you 🥹🥹 I do count my lucky stars often - Aid could be straight out of an RC film and he gets that from his dad who, after celebrating 30 years of marriage this year, is still doing alllll the hopeless romantic moves 🫶
I agree! It feels really intimidating, as though you're being judged by someone before you've even had a conversation. It also feels like it reduces you to your appearance or your favourite song on your profile, and I can't get past the awkward conversation starters 😂 definitely not for me! In person is absolutely the best way, even if it is scary!
Another incredible article!! Ella, honestly your writing speaks to my soul! Always looked up to and admired the love my grandparents had and I feel like it’s just not around as much anymore! You are so right about shows like Love Island, and to watch those in our primitive years, well looking back that’s quite scary!
Thank you Beth!!! 💓💓💓I’m so happy you liked it and thank you so much for reading it! I’m the same, my grandparents were married for more than 60 years which is amazing. I definitely think it still exists! I just think people talk about it less, and it’s easy for us to romanticise it and think that their love was without struggle but everything takes work, we just have to find a person who’s willing to choose us.
I felt this in my very soul - RC films are both the joy and the curse of millennial existence. We’re brought up to be hopeless romantics, to believe in ‘real love’, but with a side of the devastating ruthlessness and dishonesty of modern dating: no wonder so many of us are struggling to find ‘the one’. So incredibly well articulated Ella, this piece is going to resonate for so many women 💗
Thank you Lauren 🥹 what a nice comment!! I’m not sure what it is about this collective fear of connection but I’m certainly holding on to the belief that we can all find real love if we’re willing to be open to it - in whatever form that may be! 💗
I too grew up in the golden age of romance films – and have been completely taken by the Molly-Mae headlines! There's a lot to be said for the digital age and the loneliness/overconsumption pandemic. I feel like we all think we have plenty of choice? We're faced with so many people online daily, that it's confusing real-life interactions.
By a stroke of luck, I met my partner on Tinder and he is truly the gent of my hopeless romantic dreams. We share the load AND he remembers family birthdays, he surprises me with flowers all the time while I surprise him with sweet treats, he knows when I need a pick-me-up hug after a long day as well as when to leave me alone... I am infinitely glad I never let up on my standards or boundaries. Good men are out there, somewhere!
I agree! We come across so many more people than we ever used to, and we’re so much more used to interacting with strangers online than in person.
I’m so happy you’ve found your person! He sounds wonderful, and how lucky he is to have you by his side! It’s so reassuring to know that the good ones still exist. 💕
Love this one- hits home for sure
Thank you Sruthi! Glad it resonated with you 🫶🏻
Loved this so much, Ella!
"I don’t think anyone should stay in a relationship that doesn’t fulfil them or make them happy, but the idea that there will be a single, perfect person who ticks every one of your boxes is just unrealistic, and it’s a selfish approach to being in a relationship. It should be about both of you, together."
^^ That really got me! I see some of my friends with these insane checklists for men and just want to shake them and scream that it's okay if their significant other likes different music than them or has a few different hobbies or prefers slightly less spicy food than they do. They shouldn't want to date carbon copies of themselves LOL!
Anyway, fabulous post, as always!!
Thank you Madeline!! I'm so happy you liked it!! I completely agree, there seems to be a cycle of chasing perfection but we all know perfection doesn't exist. We need to find someone who will accept our imperfections, and we need to accept them in our partner as well! (to an extent of course!)
Another amaaazing article Ella! I adore RC films and I'm a hopeless romantic, so this speaks to me. You're so right about reality shows and how they've completely warped our expectations of others, and also changed what we want from others (I think) too.
I see my friends who are dating and it makes me want to cry nowadays. What do you mean you don't want to tell them you want to see them again??? 😭 It must be so tough to form a relationship with someone when you are so protective of yourself.
Anyway, thank you so much for this post - I loved it.
Eeee thank you Soph!!! YES! I hadn't thought about it changing what we want from others but you're so right. Also, with shows like LI we know that most of them are going on there for a business move, which is fair enough, but then we end up comparing our real-life situations to something structured for our entertainment??? Doesn't work!!
Completely - I think online dating and the way we communicate with one another online has distorted so much. The way we can't appear to be excited or interested in someone because it might be considered off-putting baffles me.
What we can take from this is you need to keep up with the Soph x Aidan content. Authentic real relationships >>> 😌
You’re so right! I hadn’t thought about the business move perspective at all! How on earth can we compare reality to that?!
Online dating culture is killing romance in my opinion. I know very few people who’ve had actual genuine success with it and that’s because they’ve promptly taken the relationship mostly offline. I think it should be used as a tool to get people face-to-face rather than the predominant way a relationship is formed!
Awww thank you 🥹🥹 I do count my lucky stars often - Aid could be straight out of an RC film and he gets that from his dad who, after celebrating 30 years of marriage this year, is still doing alllll the hopeless romantic moves 🫶
I agree! It feels really intimidating, as though you're being judged by someone before you've even had a conversation. It also feels like it reduces you to your appearance or your favourite song on your profile, and I can't get past the awkward conversation starters 😂 definitely not for me! In person is absolutely the best way, even if it is scary!
This was so beautifully written and I adored all the Notting Hill references ❤️
Thank you Angela!! 💗 such a great movie
Another incredible article!! Ella, honestly your writing speaks to my soul! Always looked up to and admired the love my grandparents had and I feel like it’s just not around as much anymore! You are so right about shows like Love Island, and to watch those in our primitive years, well looking back that’s quite scary!
Thank you Beth!!! 💓💓💓I’m so happy you liked it and thank you so much for reading it! I’m the same, my grandparents were married for more than 60 years which is amazing. I definitely think it still exists! I just think people talk about it less, and it’s easy for us to romanticise it and think that their love was without struggle but everything takes work, we just have to find a person who’s willing to choose us.
I felt this in my very soul - RC films are both the joy and the curse of millennial existence. We’re brought up to be hopeless romantics, to believe in ‘real love’, but with a side of the devastating ruthlessness and dishonesty of modern dating: no wonder so many of us are struggling to find ‘the one’. So incredibly well articulated Ella, this piece is going to resonate for so many women 💗
Thank you Lauren 🥹 what a nice comment!! I’m not sure what it is about this collective fear of connection but I’m certainly holding on to the belief that we can all find real love if we’re willing to be open to it - in whatever form that may be! 💗
I too grew up in the golden age of romance films – and have been completely taken by the Molly-Mae headlines! There's a lot to be said for the digital age and the loneliness/overconsumption pandemic. I feel like we all think we have plenty of choice? We're faced with so many people online daily, that it's confusing real-life interactions.
By a stroke of luck, I met my partner on Tinder and he is truly the gent of my hopeless romantic dreams. We share the load AND he remembers family birthdays, he surprises me with flowers all the time while I surprise him with sweet treats, he knows when I need a pick-me-up hug after a long day as well as when to leave me alone... I am infinitely glad I never let up on my standards or boundaries. Good men are out there, somewhere!
I agree! We come across so many more people than we ever used to, and we’re so much more used to interacting with strangers online than in person.
I’m so happy you’ve found your person! He sounds wonderful, and how lucky he is to have you by his side! It’s so reassuring to know that the good ones still exist. 💕