Sunny Side Up #22: On Starting Again
& why finding balance is key 🎃
As I write this, it’s Halloween. I am sat in my kitchen with the Scooby Doo movie on the TV (I can’t handle anything spookier than this), and a sleepy tea by my side. Tonight, my neighbour and I decorated the outside for the children in the village who all club together to go trick-or-treating. I think it might be one of the most sickeningly wholesome things ever. This, and the fact that one of the little girls rides a shetland pony around the area on weekends. I had every intention of going to Pilates tonight, but honestly the thought of staying in and cosying up was just too tempting. Plus, there’s only one night of the year where I can watch all my favourite nostalgic Halloween DCOMs. Last night I watched Halloweentown, and earlier today it was Twitches Too. You can’t argue with the classics!
There are a few times throughout the year where fresh starts present themselves to us quite organically. I’ve never been one for New Year, the whole concept frightens me if I’m honest. I shut my eyes and pretend it’s not happening, much like when Andy got eliminated from the Bake Off. This is something I’ll go into when the time rolls around no doubt, but I honestly don’t understand why a holiday has to be so terrifying?!
Sorry, I’m straying from the thought path again!!
I’ve reached one of those lovely moments in my life where doors are closing and chapters are beginning harmoniously. I finished therapy; I said yes to a new opportunity to develop my writing and meet new creatives. I’ve recovered from injury; I’m back on my gym routine (ignore what I said earlier). I’m making social plans as opposed to hiding myself away like a woodlouse under a brick. Better yet - I am painting my room pink. It’s my happy colour!
When I find myself in a period like this, I feel it’s important for me to embrace it in whatever way I possibly can. Equally, I don’t want to burn myself out. It’s all about striking the right balance. Balance can look different every day.
Today, balance was working hard in the office and skipping Pilates to enjoy Halloween movies. Balance could be getting an early night to make sure you have enough energy for the busy day ahead. It could be making time to see friends when you’d rather just go straight home.
Sometimes, I think the concept of finding balance gets blurred in with the twist that social media has put on self-care and selfishness. I don’t know if this makes any sense! I think sometimes we disguise not doing things that could be potentially beneficial for ourselves by calling it “self-care”, or in this instance, balance.
For example, there is a culture online that celebrates staying in, putting on a face mask, reading a self health book, and drinking lemon water instead of going out, seeing friends, having a glass of Prosecco and coming home with slightly smudged mascara. While a cosy night in to “protect your peace” is good for the soul every once in a while, prioritising this every night instead of making time for others and making new, exciting memories could actually encourage you to lead an isolated, unbalanced lifestyle.
Going into this new chapter, balance for me means taking control. Not necessarily “I’ve had a hard day so I’m going to have a chill night in instead of doing a workout” (I realise that this is a terrible, hypocritical example to use given my choices this evening). Rather, if I’ve had a hard day, taking a step back to evaluate what would be most beneficial for me at that time. Knowing me, getting through 30 minutes of HIIT would be a lot more productive in this situation than cosying up under a blanket. Sometimes it might mean going straight to bed with a hot chocolate and a good podcast, but on the whole it needs to be something that will be beneficial for me in the long run. To me, that’s balance. Plus, there’s always time to snuggle up after the workout. There might even be time to bake a fresh batch of cookies. The vibe is very much Elle Woods when Warner told her she’s not good enough for law school — it’s about doing what’s best for you.
My biggest weakness is following through with social plans. I love the idea in my head, and then when I have to put it into action, my anxiety takes over. All I can think about is the number of ways things could go wrong! Having said that, when I let the anxiety win and I just sit at home by myself, I often feel regretful and low because I’m on my own. I tend to wish I’d just made the extra effort. Spending time nurturing my friendships is my upmost priority at the moment to help me find balance. It’s all about finding happiness after all!
I would love to know the ways you find balance in your own life. I’m always open to suggestions about how best to manage life’s daily stresses and surprises, how we can keep ourselves motivated, inspired and engaged. Let’s share!
MUNCHING | My friend Liza and I went for a drink after work and had a charcuterie board while we were at it! It was v seasonal with sweet potato falafel and pumpkin hummus. I’m not usually one for a charcuterie board but this was good!
Saturday began in the best way by grabbing a fresh pastry for breakfast. I opted for a chocolate twist, my favourite!
Clearly this week was a one for the foodie side of me because on Sunday my sister, her partner and I went for roast dinner wraps at a nearby pub and let me tell you, it’s a game changer! Not as heavy as I’d anticipated, a perfect bite every time, the ultimate seasonal comfort food.
READING | Everything I Know About Love is one of my favourite books of all time, but you can read all about that here. It’s a book I truly treasure, I buy copies of it for all my friends whenever a birthday comes up or Christmas rolls around. It’s simply a must-read for women. When I saw this special edition was coming out I had to pre-order it. Conveniently, it’s the same colour scheme as my room so I guess it was meant to be! I first read this book when I was eighteen, then again at nineteen, and I’ve only dipped in and out since. Now I’m nearing my mid-twenties (🤮), I think it’s time for a re-read.
WATCHING | As previously mentioned, it’s been a week for the (ever so slightly) scary movies! I saved Scooby Doo for Halloween night because you’ve got to end spooky season on a high, right? I’m sorry, but the first Scooby Doo film is a bit scary — the way everyone’s in a trance and their eyes glow green?! My tolerance for scares is about as high as my tolerance for spice at Nando’s. I’ll take it plain-ish, please.
I’ve also watched Legally Blonde a good seven times this week. I don’t even know how it happens, surely I had something better to do. I just find myself putting it on in the background while I do other things and by the end of the movie I’m overcome by immense inspiration, the urge to curl my hair and a heavy desire to apply for Harvard.
MOOCHING | There’s nothing I love more than a Sunday morning walk. I felt very smug to have done 11,000 steps — I’m lucky if I get 100 in on an office day so this was much needed!
The conversation sparked by Saoirse Ronan’s viral moment on The Graham Norton Show is something I’ve been following all week. A casual remark that’s snowballed into this incredibly insightful and revealing conversation about what women want the men in their lives to understand about the female experience with regard to safety. I wrote a piece on this myself, but I also really enjoyed reading this take by Marina Hyde, and Elle’s piece by Olivia Petter.
Kathryn from
wrote the most beautiful piece about grief, Belonging to No One. It is so delicately and poignantly written. It’s one I’ve been thinking about all week.If you watched Made in Chelsea back in the day you might remember Cheska Hull, who was always one of my favourites on the show. This week I watched an interview she did with Jo Emerson and it was really interesting to listen to her reflect on her experience with reality TV, especially because it wasn’t the easiest ride. I’m so happy that she’s in a better place now!
I forgot to include this piece last week, but I re-read it this week so we’re putting it here instead.
, one of my favourite new Substackers, wrote a piece called All Rise For The ‘Fuck Yes Or No’ Girlies and now I’m holding her responsible for changing my life. I have a hard time with self-restraint, especially when it comes to shopping. I will be coming back to this article whenever I feel myself becoming tempted by an unnecessary purchase.My favourite Halloween costume by far was Amelia Dimoldenberg. Exhibit A:
Same time next week? Xx
I can so relate to the staying in and the balance of friendships. I love the idea in my head of my going out with friends and I always enjoy it but making myself do it…ugh. Near impossible. It’s something about the looming commitment I think because I don’t mind this as much when it’s spur of the moment (which isn’t often because I’m very much a planner!)
Loooove as always!! We both watched Scooby Doo last week which is hilariously in sync 🤣
I love the point you make about balance and that self care isn't always staying at home with a face mask. Not long ago I was feeling really "meh" and realised I just needed a good old chit chat with one of my girls instead of hunkering down with a book.
Also, a random fact but I actually met Cheska when I was like 12 at her mum's old shop in Salcombe (not sure if it's still open online maybe!). I had no clue who she was because I didn't watch Made in Chelsea but I got a pic anyway 🤣