The Next Right Thing
Sunny Side Up #24
All you have to do is the next right thing.
I say that as someone who frequently - accidentally - does the wrong thing. But then we all do, don’t we? Please say yes so that it doesn’t get awkward.
We wave at someone we think we know but don’t, we tell jokes that fall flat (why is nobody as funny as me?), and we forget the name of the person we’ve been talking to for the last twenty minutes. We’re full of imperfection and that’s what gives us character, or at least that’s what I like to tell myself.
I went to the football last night. The sky was inky black and it was so bitterly cold that we were puffing clouds with each breath. Winter is definitely edging its way closer! Although I must admit, I don’t mind at all. I like the cosy nights that I can brighten with fairy lights, the rosy flush from an icy cold walk, and the way that whenever I get home and pull on my pyjamas, I can convince myself that I’m Meg Ryan in Sleepless In Seattle. Why don’t we let players wear leggings when it’s this cold? It rarely happens, but I have to admit I felt sorry for the footballers last night, galloping around in their short shorts. Mind you, they’re being paid enough.
By the time we began to drive home, it was nearing midnight (a crazy night out pour moi!). I wasn’t the one driving, so I sat in the backseat, wrapped in scarves as a makeshift blanket, and put my headphones in to carry on listening to my audiobook, which this week is I Haven’t Been Entirely Honest With You by Miranda Hart. I have the physical copy of this, but I find it so much easier to mix between reading and listening given that I’m on the go so much of the time. I was in that state where you’re hearing things but you’re not fully conscious, until I heard Miranda say “do the next right thing”, and my brain switched back into gear.
‘“Ask yourself: what’s the next right action in the now to move forward?” Instead of angrily berating and avoiding, what is the kindly next right action I can take now I’m accepting my reality? […] The question gives space to consider the specific things we may need help with. Each next right action breeds confidence and resilience as we take the positive steps to move ahead, which in turn creates a clearer head to make the next right step and the next.’1
The messages and feedback I’ve received in over the last couple of weeks has shown me that quite a lot of us are in the same boat — feeling overwhelmed, tired, a bit lost, stressed, *insert negative, frazzled emotion here*. Whether it’s work building on top of you, family, or just general life stuff, there’s always going to be something that feels a little bit out of balance. Let’s face it — life is never going to be perfectly balanced. A balanced life is about balancing the unbalanced. 10 points to you if you understood what I just said there.
Asking ourselves the question “what is the next right thing for me?” helps us to combat the overwhelm. It’s a bit like when a child won’t eat their food so you cut it up really tiny and then pretend like it’s an airplane. 99.9% of the time we have to be adults. 0.1% of the time, I think we can afford to treat ourselves like we would a small child.
We’re all guilty of thinking too far ahead. What about right now? We spend so much time thinking about tomorrow, next week, next year, that we miss out on the things we can do today. Who says we have to rush?
A key part of this is ‘accepting [your] reality’. For a really, really long time, my immediate reaction to any minuscule inconvenience was to take a deep sigh of frustration, or sometimes burst into tears. I remember once a car almost swerved into the side of me on the motorway and I was thinking about it all day, I just couldn’t let it go. Now, I can’t help but consider how different that day would have been if I’d just observed that emotion, accepted it, and kept going. No day is without its bumps and bruises, but it’s how we respond to them that determines whether we deem it a ‘good’ or a ‘bad’ twenty-four hours. Acceptance is a massive step towards contentment, I think.
So, this week, I’m taking my cues from Miranda, and asking myself what the next right action will be. It’s quarter to ten and I’m catching up on I’m A Celeb. My next right action is to make myself a hot water bottle, press play on a podcast, and go to sleep. What’s yours?
Look at that fresh stack of Jane Austen books. She’s truly never looked so good! I think I’m going to start with Northanger Abbey because the quote on the back has grabbed me: ‘No one would have supposed her born to be an heroine’. Although that “an” is really bothering me. Is that a typo or is that just old speak?
My friend Liza and I spent Monday evening sipping Earl Grey tea and eating her homemade cheesecake. How quintessential!
Anyone else watch the Bake Off final?! Soph and I have been nattering like two old ladies about this series for weeks. Final thoughts? Andy was out too soon, I want to be friends with Mike, and Nelly won our hearts.
On Wednesday, I had a really great food day. Starting off strong with granola with raspberries for breakfast, spinach & ricotta ravioli for lunch, and my fave winter comfort food, beef goulash for dinner. Felt like the luckiest girl alive.
I absolutely smashed it at work on Thursday. I don’t think I’ve ever been so productive in my entire life. I was so proud of myself that I literally took pictures to show my mum.
On Friday I got festive!! I got some treats for my colleagues to celebrate the start of advent, and made myself absolutely insufferable by signing the gift tags “from Santa’s Little Helper”. Who’s got the ick?!! 🙋🏼♀️
It’s Saturday night, 11.45pm. I’ve finally written the task that I was set two weeks ago. Aoife, you’ll be so proud of me. It’s truly awful, but the page is no longer blank.
Marks & Spencer is letting me down so I decided to make my own gingerbread cookies on Sunday!! No better way to feel festive than with a cosy house scented with winter spices.
I don’t know how I’ve only just discovered
’s substack. I’ve binge-read her posts this week. I’d recommend all posts, but in particular Famous Guys I’ve Called Daddy, I’ve Seen Ghosts and How To Be Less Ugly. Her writing tugs at my heart and makes me laugh. That’s all I need! Also, shoutout to this sentence which changed my life as soon as I read it: ‘I’ve never been able to think my way into behaving differently. I’ve only ever been able to behave my way into thinking differently.’Sex and the City Lied to Us by
is a must-read for any twenty-something finding it complicated to navigate their friendships! She talks about the false expectations inflicted on us by shows like Friends and SATC, as well as leaning into acceptance. A really great read! Honestly, the more Substacks I read, the more I find that no matter how you feel, you are literally never the only one.Am I Pretty? by
made me so emotional. It’s such a beautiful and poignantly written piece exploring beauty as a double-edged sword. She broke my heart with the line “My body feels foreign, not really mine.” Will I ever stop being angry about the cruelty and damage beauty standards have inflicted onto women? It’s unlikely!
Same time next week? Xx
From Chapter 2: Surrender, I Haven’t Been Entirely Honest With You by Miranda Hart.
you've made ME emotional. Thank you for the mention, it means so so much 💓
Ella, thank you so much for this newsletter. It is insane how this platform always brings me the content that I need to read the most at the exact right time. In the past, I've taken Hughe pride in being a planner. I like thinking ahead, planning things out and knowing where I am going. However, due to many life changes over the past couple of years and a job that sucked the life out of me, I have become overwhelmed with the idea of planning, particularly when it involves a to do list. So instead of focusing on all the things I should be doing in the next couple of days or weeks, I want to take your advice and look at right now. What's the one thing I should be doing next? So grateful to have found you on here and excited to connect further!